Nursery Crimes 5.3

 
(i)

Little Tommy Tucker,
a most proficient fucker

a massive fan of anal
he lubricates with butter!

How shall he fuck her
Without a bigger dick

he’ll buy a strap on
one that’s nice and thick

(ii)

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
puling his dick like a strand
he let down his guard and pulled it too hard
and his dick came off in his hand

(iii)

Peter, Peter, pussy eater
ate his wife but couldn't keep her
He put her in a dungeon cell
and tortured her so very well.

(iv)

Do you know the muffin man,
he muffs a muff just when he can,
Do you know the muffin man,
Who lives to dive in muff

Oh Yes, I know the muffin man,
he’s muffed my muff, like no one can,
Yes, I know the muffin man,
Who’s got a long, long tongue

(v)

This little piggy went to a brothel
This little piggy wanked at home
This little piggy got his beef sucked
This little piggy dressed as a nun
And this incontinent piggy went "Wee, Wee, Wee" all the way home!