deepundergroundpoetry.com
Women
Our simple noodles can bore me to a coma
but the female mind holds a beautiful aroma
It’s not that I won’t talk to men, some of them are cool
But it’s women, I adore, so this one is for you
Four of them, there are, lately on my brain
So I’ll spill them on this page in a quasi-type quatrain
I share romantic history with two and a half of them
a half that can’t be understood by the simplicity of men
First, there was Chelsea who’s also kind of been the last
An interesting dynamic, my present is my past
Fourteen years, it’s been and now we’ve reconnected
but I wrote that poem already, in which that was dissected
She’s now a close friend and the only one I lust
Her loyalty screams out; In Chelsea I can trust
Our lives have led us both, in opposite directions
A yuppie and a junkie, yet still a deep connection
A Pisces and a Gemini are destined for a clash
But we find common ground to prevent another crash
She’s not big on emotion but she stimulates my mind
the wisdom that she shares is like a spurting oil mine
Next there was the one with whom my soul was mated
Cyberland was where we met and through the web, we dated
We’ll call this one Taylor because she’s a perfect fit
To keep this woman safe, I’d return to savage shit
Somehow we’ve maintained even through my broken heart
She’s the only one who ‘gets me,’ and she has right from the start
‘I can’t imagine life without you in it,’ she once said
Don’t you worry girl, I’ll still be with you when I’m dead
She’s got a full packed life these days; our speaking isn’t much
But her T-State twang and southern slang is like my spirit’s lunch
Her son’s father is a better man than I could ever dream to be
When I was done being ‘Nothingman’ that was something I could see
Going separate ways on Earth can’t create a brand(y) new start
Our souls remained entwined through lives and can’t be torn apart
I just want her to be happy and that seems to be the case
I’d like her inner peace to match the beauty of her face
There aren’t too many humans with this friendly fortune
my two most loved ex-girlfriends had my heart split into portions
Neither one’s more precious, they’re just different kinds of friends
I’m so thankful for them both and I pray that never ends
Taylor and I were on a break when God sent Angelica in
But Satan liked it too when I met my Gemini Twin
Danger danced around us so we fought our deep desires
Until our lust won out and our air sign ignited fires
She began to use again; hanging with her former guy
More heartbreak for me so, I too, chose to get high
She got back with him so our brief affair was over
But the day I met him, they gave me a four leaf clover
I’d been clean a month, thanks to rehab in Tennessee
But Chi-Town’s dope’s the strongest; I had my first O.D.
She didn’t know what to do so her man coached her through
She breathed for me and wouldn’t quit; in an hour I came to
I got clean but kept in touch; I owed her my life
She eloped with him and became his junkie wife
The last time that we spoke, our friendship took a dive
Now she’s off the grid and I just pray she’s alive
Recently came Sasha who is strictly just a friend
I’m glad she thinks the same of me over on her end
It allows us to speak freely and I value all her genius
There are rumors ‘Underground’ since she doesn’t have a penis
Her loyalty is priceless and she receives mine in return
She helps me with my writing when the muses start to burn
Two days in L.A. and we quickly became pals
I can tell her things that I can’t tell the other gals
I’m excited to go back and tag along on her adventures
The past few days I’ve struggled and she gave me gentle lectures
She supports me for who I am and what I want to be
Like a long lost cousin who I finally got to meet
Lately, these four women have been on my mind
Three wonderful friends and one who fell behind
All four are amazing and the last thing for me to say
Is that I adore all of them, each in a different way.
Copyright © 2017 Jackson Kane
but the female mind holds a beautiful aroma
It’s not that I won’t talk to men, some of them are cool
But it’s women, I adore, so this one is for you
Four of them, there are, lately on my brain
So I’ll spill them on this page in a quasi-type quatrain
I share romantic history with two and a half of them
a half that can’t be understood by the simplicity of men
First, there was Chelsea who’s also kind of been the last
An interesting dynamic, my present is my past
Fourteen years, it’s been and now we’ve reconnected
but I wrote that poem already, in which that was dissected
She’s now a close friend and the only one I lust
Her loyalty screams out; In Chelsea I can trust
Our lives have led us both, in opposite directions
A yuppie and a junkie, yet still a deep connection
A Pisces and a Gemini are destined for a clash
But we find common ground to prevent another crash
She’s not big on emotion but she stimulates my mind
the wisdom that she shares is like a spurting oil mine
Next there was the one with whom my soul was mated
Cyberland was where we met and through the web, we dated
We’ll call this one Taylor because she’s a perfect fit
To keep this woman safe, I’d return to savage shit
Somehow we’ve maintained even through my broken heart
She’s the only one who ‘gets me,’ and she has right from the start
‘I can’t imagine life without you in it,’ she once said
Don’t you worry girl, I’ll still be with you when I’m dead
She’s got a full packed life these days; our speaking isn’t much
But her T-State twang and southern slang is like my spirit’s lunch
Her son’s father is a better man than I could ever dream to be
When I was done being ‘Nothingman’ that was something I could see
Going separate ways on Earth can’t create a brand(y) new start
Our souls remained entwined through lives and can’t be torn apart
I just want her to be happy and that seems to be the case
I’d like her inner peace to match the beauty of her face
There aren’t too many humans with this friendly fortune
my two most loved ex-girlfriends had my heart split into portions
Neither one’s more precious, they’re just different kinds of friends
I’m so thankful for them both and I pray that never ends
Taylor and I were on a break when God sent Angelica in
But Satan liked it too when I met my Gemini Twin
Danger danced around us so we fought our deep desires
Until our lust won out and our air sign ignited fires
She began to use again; hanging with her former guy
More heartbreak for me so, I too, chose to get high
She got back with him so our brief affair was over
But the day I met him, they gave me a four leaf clover
I’d been clean a month, thanks to rehab in Tennessee
But Chi-Town’s dope’s the strongest; I had my first O.D.
She didn’t know what to do so her man coached her through
She breathed for me and wouldn’t quit; in an hour I came to
I got clean but kept in touch; I owed her my life
She eloped with him and became his junkie wife
The last time that we spoke, our friendship took a dive
Now she’s off the grid and I just pray she’s alive
Recently came Sasha who is strictly just a friend
I’m glad she thinks the same of me over on her end
It allows us to speak freely and I value all her genius
There are rumors ‘Underground’ since she doesn’t have a penis
Her loyalty is priceless and she receives mine in return
She helps me with my writing when the muses start to burn
Two days in L.A. and we quickly became pals
I can tell her things that I can’t tell the other gals
I’m excited to go back and tag along on her adventures
The past few days I’ve struggled and she gave me gentle lectures
She supports me for who I am and what I want to be
Like a long lost cousin who I finally got to meet
Lately, these four women have been on my mind
Three wonderful friends and one who fell behind
All four are amazing and the last thing for me to say
Is that I adore all of them, each in a different way.
Copyright © 2017 Jackson Kane
Published 26th Aug 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Gemini this is all heart & tells your story
for that alone its rare & beautiful
I don't usually go for rhyming poems
but this one has a nice flow
though it struggles a bit here & there..
not much more I can add in a way of constructive critique..
you've lived a rich life & a painful one
keep shining your light through your ink..
love Brenda
for that alone its rare & beautiful
I don't usually go for rhyming poems
but this one has a nice flow
though it struggles a bit here & there..
not much more I can add in a way of constructive critique..
you've lived a rich life & a painful one
keep shining your light through your ink..
love Brenda
26th Aug 2017 4:15pm
Thanks, Crim! I don't usually like rhyming either but for some reason, I've gone back to my roots when poetry comes out, even though my fiction style didn't change much after my few year writer's block. I agree that there are some lines that fall out of the flow and structure a bit. Thanks for pointing that out though because while I thought it, a second pair of eyes can confirm it for me. As far as the content, outside of the literary value (or lack there of), you're right; a very full and rich life but filled and fueled by a lot of pain. Aside from 'Angelica', these three women keep me from going mad again. They are all truly precious friendships for which I'm incredibly grateful. Thank you for dropping by, Sinful Criminal!
-Gemini
-Gemini
Anonymous
26th Aug 2017 8:40pm
I think you've written pieces instead of Pisces... at least that's what I think lol
I laughed at the notion of being under scrutiny because your 'friend' doesn't have a dick. Rumours spread around this place faster than a bloody fire 😂😂 According to those rumours I should have banged half of the DU by now... people are stooopid. It really annoys me when you can't just be platonic friends with someone of the opposite sex without there being a back-handed vocal festival about it.
It's hard to keep rhyme going in a poem that doesn't feel forced, and I think you've had a bloody good go at keeping a good rhyme through this. It kept my attention despite its length, so I count that as a success. The touching sentiment towards the women in your life was endearing.
Thank you for sharing :)
I laughed at the notion of being under scrutiny because your 'friend' doesn't have a dick. Rumours spread around this place faster than a bloody fire 😂😂 According to those rumours I should have banged half of the DU by now... people are stooopid. It really annoys me when you can't just be platonic friends with someone of the opposite sex without there being a back-handed vocal festival about it.
It's hard to keep rhyme going in a poem that doesn't feel forced, and I think you've had a bloody good go at keeping a good rhyme through this. It kept my attention despite its length, so I count that as a success. The touching sentiment towards the women in your life was endearing.
Thank you for sharing :)
Good eye on my spelling error, Missy. Thanks for mentioning it.
Thank you also for your kind words on the poem itself. Honestly, I'm surprised you even took the time to read it, due to the rhyming and your own advanced poetry skills so I appreciate that and you saying something sweet about it.
According to rumors, if you banged half the members, I've banged the other half, so between you and I, we've supposedly fucked the entire website. lol Now I just laugh and think, 'don't these people have anything better to do with their lives than create rumors?' I tend to be playful and flirtatious at times but some just can't grasp that flirting on line and meeting up to fuck are not synonymous. Anyway, said friend, is just that, and a really good one. I won't speak for her but if people want to say what they're going to say about the two of us, I don't give a rat's ass. I know the truth, as does she, and that's all that really matters.
Thanks for swinging by and sharing your thoughts, Missy.
-Gemini
Thank you also for your kind words on the poem itself. Honestly, I'm surprised you even took the time to read it, due to the rhyming and your own advanced poetry skills so I appreciate that and you saying something sweet about it.
According to rumors, if you banged half the members, I've banged the other half, so between you and I, we've supposedly fucked the entire website. lol Now I just laugh and think, 'don't these people have anything better to do with their lives than create rumors?' I tend to be playful and flirtatious at times but some just can't grasp that flirting on line and meeting up to fuck are not synonymous. Anyway, said friend, is just that, and a really good one. I won't speak for her but if people want to say what they're going to say about the two of us, I don't give a rat's ass. I know the truth, as does she, and that's all that really matters.
Thanks for swinging by and sharing your thoughts, Missy.
-Gemini
Anonymous
27th Aug 2017 00:38am
This write is raw and vulnerable and that is something I very much enjoy seeing in one's words...once an imprint is left, for certain people it doesn't go away...you are obviously one of those people....you cherish and respect what the relationship brought to you and that in my opinion is a beautiful way to be. Wanting happiness for those who have left broken hearts in their path shows an unselfish person...THOSE people are the ones I keep in my circle...sadly, it's not a very big one which shows how most people are. Very much enjoyed this read and I will admit, I chuckled over some similarities between us....
xoxo Taryn
xoxo Taryn
Vulnerable, it certainly was, Taryntino. This was going to be one of those I keep only to myself for that reason. I'm glad I posted it though because some seem to relate (just women so far; the few men at DU who would really 'get it' don't read me.) Thank you for saying what you did about me being unselfish because in most cases, the ex-addict in me still struggles a lot with being a self-centered, self-obsessed prick..."but I'm tryin', Ringo, I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd." ;) And yes, those similarities are a trip, aren't they? Thanks for leaving some words, Ms. Q. Taryntino.
-Gemini
-Gemini
Anonymous
27th Aug 2017 6:11am
I think when they were looking for a penis they forgot to see the balls she had, probably more balls than their cyber imagination could ever comprehend lol
anyhoooo....you know the gossipers are checking every comment, soooooo ** hello all you lovelies, how you all doin?** :P
All joking aside, you have a beautiful ode Falco, to 4 different women from different walks of life who have never met each other and yet have one crucial factor in common, you!
I wholeheartedly believe each person we meet fills a purpose, a void that no other can fill, whether its a romantic tie or just a friendship, each unique in their own ways and you have demonstrated that so well in this poem. This is truly a very honest and heartfelt write and I know each of them would be very proud to have left an unforgettable print in your life, I know I am.
As for technical side of the poem, the rhyming is your beginnings which obviously you have perfected, feeling comfortable making it flow easily and not coming across as forced. The details are clear and focused keeping the reader engaged regardless of length but what was crowning jewel for me, the title. That one word reference spoke volumes, the layers upon layers, not to mention the notoriety of always being complicated creatures captured the feel of the poem perfectly.
Well done my friend, very well done, i dont know about how good of a lover you are, but i know you are one helluva of a good friend :)
anyhoooo....you know the gossipers are checking every comment, soooooo ** hello all you lovelies, how you all doin?** :P
All joking aside, you have a beautiful ode Falco, to 4 different women from different walks of life who have never met each other and yet have one crucial factor in common, you!
I wholeheartedly believe each person we meet fills a purpose, a void that no other can fill, whether its a romantic tie or just a friendship, each unique in their own ways and you have demonstrated that so well in this poem. This is truly a very honest and heartfelt write and I know each of them would be very proud to have left an unforgettable print in your life, I know I am.
As for technical side of the poem, the rhyming is your beginnings which obviously you have perfected, feeling comfortable making it flow easily and not coming across as forced. The details are clear and focused keeping the reader engaged regardless of length but what was crowning jewel for me, the title. That one word reference spoke volumes, the layers upon layers, not to mention the notoriety of always being complicated creatures captured the feel of the poem perfectly.
Well done my friend, very well done, i dont know about how good of a lover you are, but i know you are one helluva of a good friend :)
Reina, you just showed why Sasha is that kind, sweet, and special friend. You understand me so well that if I were to touch on everything you wrote, I could go on and on, so I'll save that for another venue. For now, I'll just thank you for coming by and saying what you did.
On the spin off topic of the gossip, maybe she does have something swinging between her legs; or maybe Holly wasn't my only female pseudonym and she is a creation of my own mind too. lol **She appeared right before Gemini left a few years ago...spin that one through your rumor mill, kids.** ;)
I think the poem speaks for itself on how much I value a friendship such as yours and why the adoration exists, my friend.
-Falco
On the spin off topic of the gossip, maybe she does have something swinging between her legs; or maybe Holly wasn't my only female pseudonym and she is a creation of my own mind too. lol **She appeared right before Gemini left a few years ago...spin that one through your rumor mill, kids.** ;)
I think the poem speaks for itself on how much I value a friendship such as yours and why the adoration exists, my friend.
-Falco
6th Jul 2018 6:27am
I enjoyed so many elements of this—the rawness, simplicity, pain, redemption, and overall vulnerability. Thank you for sharing it with us.
