what should have been

none of you know me  
& that's my doing  
owing to the shame I feel  
not of my family  
but my choices  

I was a mamma at 15  
chose to keep my daughter  
had to hit the streets  
cos my family wasn't having it  

I thought I was doing the right thing  
keeping my little one with me  
she lived in poverty  
with a bipolar mom  
who couldn't raise her right  
due to my mental illness  

today I look back
at the right choice  
& know I chose wrong  
I had an adoptive family for her  
that would have let me see her  

I was selfish & thought of only me  
today she struggles  
because of my decision
even made me a grandma at 28  

now I have a granddaughter  
fighting to beat the odds  
the house always wins  
& the streets are mean  

I hope to see some positive  
come from my foolishness  
instead of raking myself over the coals
of what should have been  

*pic of my daughter & granddaughter

Copyright 2017 Crimsin. All Rights Reserved  

Written by crimsin
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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