That ol self

Winning is the looser that has won only to loose it
Can't seem to follow the right path, but others seem to make it no matter how they choose it
Whether it's the dope, money or just music
Dirty or clean they make it or just confuse it
Me, I find I know less, everyday I pray and then I receive my test
Throughout my struggles I think to do best
Still, I end up behind and its another blow for the mind
I heard a man call himself a two time looser, I have lost count of my losses
I have been played out by them all, women, friends and bosses
I am stuck in a mode that says you can't go, man you can't have it or the hell with you, no
Feeling like I can't grow and I won't use any of the big words I know, because its no use
I have been hit with everything, split from everything including the verbal abuse
Cable has come loose, don't know which way to go
Lost all of my marbles
I never had them anyway
Sad to say, I just don't know