deepundergroundpoetry.com
YOU - - - -for the ‘Unfriended Comp’
You were my best friend, but:
You fucked my wife
You humped my daughter
You killed my eldest boy
You killed both my parents
And my grandparents
You stole and wrecked my car
You sank my boat
You got me fired from my job
You took all my money
You fire bombed my house
Killing everyone left
Except me and my dog
You did all this and like a fool
I forgave you for everything
We stayed the best of friends
This time you’ve gone too far
For every man has his limits
Every man has a line in the sand
And you have fuckin crossed it
YOU POISENED MY FUCKIN DOG!
You complete and utter bastard
We are now no longer friends
I am going to unfriend you on Facebook
I am going to unfriend you on Twitter
And just so you know, this is serious
I am going to shoot you in the face
That being the ultimate unfriending
Published 22nd Aug 2017
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likes 10
reading list entries 0
comments 23
reads 578
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
22nd Aug 2017 7:05pm
Your patience is much longer than mine would be! Damn!!
22nd Aug 2017 10:51pm
LOL - I only have that patient for the purposes of this poem - I would have killed ages before that - probably after offence 1 (lol) thanks for the read and comments :-) Many. many Hugs :-)
22nd Aug 2017 9:12pm
you can come hide here...its low key-
but ya got to come up with beer money 3 times a week
its how we roll
anyhoo, again nicely done..
burn my dude burn
but ya got to come up with beer money 3 times a week
its how we roll
anyhoo, again nicely done..
burn my dude burn
22nd Aug 2017 10:53pm
I have beer money - no problem :-) glad you enjoyed this one - thank you :-)
Anonymous
22nd Aug 2017 9:51pm
Tell me how you really feel ?
Damn bro !!
Damn bro !!
22nd Aug 2017 10:54pm
Yeah! I gotta stop sitting on the fence - it's a pain in the ass (lol) I am hoping you enjoyed it bro :-)
22nd Aug 2017 9:52pm
As the saying goes: "With a friend like that, who needs enemies"??? ...IKR? :/ (lol)
And regarding the 'ultimate unfriending', this person deserved it--absolutely!! I mean, when it comes to poisoning someone's dog-- a man's ( person's) loyal , and best friend--well now, that's waaay crossing-over the proverbial
sand- line!!!
Your wonderfully weird, and exaggerated sense of irony brought me more than a few smiles!
And regarding the 'ultimate unfriending', this person deserved it--absolutely!! I mean, when it comes to poisoning someone's dog-- a man's ( person's) loyal , and best friend--well now, that's waaay crossing-over the proverbial
sand- line!!!
Your wonderfully weird, and exaggerated sense of irony brought me more than a few smiles!
23rd Aug 2017 1:21am
glad you got smiles it was meant to be funny (lol) The fact that he let everything slide until it came to the dog amused me (lol) :-) anyway I am glad you enjoyed it and I made you :-) Big Huge Hugs :-)
Anonymous
22nd Aug 2017 11:03pm
Haha very fun to read, I like the way you've divided it up too. Don't fuck with a mans dog!!
23rd Aug 2017 1:22am
Dogs are so much better than humans (lol) thank you for the visit, glad you liked it :-)
Anonymous
23rd Aug 2017 00:49am
Although this has been presented in jest (as you sooooooo talentedly do so often) there holds much saddened truth behind these words...and I love the way it smashes one in the face to see it...well done my friend!
xoxo Taryn
xoxo Taryn
23rd Aug 2017 1:30am
I worry about humanity and where it's going - I see people loosing their humanity and behaving like animals and where social media is more important than social interaction :-( anyhoo - I am glad you enjoyed it, despite it being like a sledgehammer to crack a nut :-) Big Hugs :-)
23rd Aug 2017 1:20am
LOL! I'm not quite certain you got your point across, David.
Damn, unfriended on facebook! The complete HORROR of it all! Harsh,
David! Harsh! [nonsense]
I Love the irony of this. Its very reflective of today's society. God forbid you unfriend them on facebook!
Damn, unfriended on facebook! The complete HORROR of it all! Harsh,
David! Harsh! [nonsense]
I Love the irony of this. Its very reflective of today's society. God forbid you unfriend them on facebook!
23rd Aug 2017 1:36am
Lmao! :-) Me as usual - sitting on the fence. I find it interesting that I have been unfriended 11 times on Facebook and every single time it's been over a poem - people are sensitive (lol) there was a recent court case here where a man severely assaulted another man for unfriending him on facebook - the world is becoming way to strange for my liking :-) thanks for the comments they really made me LOL :-)
23rd Aug 2017 1:33am
That reminds me of John Wick...the movie. Don't mess with a man's dog. Good read, David. Although I would have shot him after the sixth sentence of the first stanza.:)
23rd Aug 2017 2:32am
LOL - he should have been shot much sooner, I agree (lol) I loved John Wick but I hated the dog scene :-( glad you enjoyed - thank you :-)
23rd Aug 2017 11:11am
I know...poor puppy. I saw John Wick 2, too. I am still wondering if there is a sequel.
23rd Aug 2017 1:49pm
Ahh yes, man's best friend will always be his dog. Ya can't even unfriend a dog by killing him. Mine died 33 years ago and he is and will always be my best friend.
This other guy apparently didn't understand, or perhaps he was jealous, either way, he needed unfriendin'!
JJ
This other guy apparently didn't understand, or perhaps he was jealous, either way, he needed unfriendin'!
JJ
23rd Aug 2017 5:22pm
cruelty to dogs for me is so unacceptable - I expect it from humans to humans, but not to animals especially animals that give unconditional love :-) We agree - a ma like that surely needs unfriending at the very least - thanks for the read and the comments my friend :-)
23rd Aug 2017 7:48pm
I actually wrote "killin'" instead of unfriendin', but change it at the last minute. I was thinking you put the new meaning on it already so it had a double meaning.
23rd Aug 2017 8:33pm
24th Aug 2017 2:40pm
If anyone asks I will deny it. I hope they don't extradite me for conspiracy, lol...
