The Sad Truth

Sometimes,  
I've given too much of myself,  
not hoping for  
love in return,  
not expecting anything.  
 
While that might seem  
heroic to most,  
the sad truth is that  
my relationship  
with Dad taught me:  
don't demand too much of love.  
 
But sometimes,  
it's an amazing feeling
to be with someone who  
really sees  
me.  
 
With someone who  
hugs my day with  
ordinary, everyday  
expressions of love  
I''ll miss  
when it's gone.  
 
To open up and  
reveal my ache, my agony,  
even when it feels like a  
risk,  
to succumb to it,  
to be anything but strong.  
 
Everyone has a propensity  
to hurt another,  
But sometimes,  
I need the assurance that  
I don't have to give much  
to receive the kind of  
love that  
won't discard  
me.  
 
I need affirmation,  
knowing that I, too,  
can be loved,  
even on my toxic days,  
when I hurt,  
and don't love myself  
enough.  
 
But.  
 
The sad truth is that  
my relationship  
with Dad taught me:  
don't demand too much of love.  
 
So instead,  
I bottle it up,  
and let my tears flow,  
smudging the pages,  
with words and
fragments,
as I ponder this lesson
alone.