A Test of Faith

There are words when it comes to you. Words I love. Words that...

When spoken from my lips and your image is full in my mind...
They do wonderful, beautiful, lovely, delicious things to me.

I do not want to change who I am in this regard. There is no point.
But I love so many words, especially when I whisper them

From my lips, and think of you. I love so deeply... Words like...
Slave. Submit. Devote. Use. Take, especially when it's describing

What you would do to me in my dreams, and what I would take joyfully from you,
Because you choose to give me the gift of the holy essence of you.

And I would take it in gratitude and pledge my eternal devotion to you.

Serve is wonderful for me. Obey is amazing. Follow is nice.
You... Superior is what I feel, it's what burns in my mind for you,
What's wonderful and right and fulfilling to me

Though it might bother others. I love it. I relish in it. I love
Superior, better. Better than. Better than me. Higher than.

Above me. In control. Other words that are so lovely to me,
Especially when I see your beautiful face in my mind...

Especially when I remember how you tower above me...

Especially when I remember your mouth. Your hands. Your eyes.
Your nose, the sweet sensual flare of your nostrils...

The mere width of your chest, overpowering me.
Silencing me in awe of its glory. Causing me to go mute
With longing and need and deep cravings only you can satisfy.
In you... One word perhaps more than anything...

Power.

When I remember everything that you are,
And everything that is attached to you... I love the sound of
Words like demand, command, ruin. Destroy. Abuse.

Make. Force. Compel. Compel me. Though it is too easy for you.

I want... I want and need to do your bidding. At your every whim
And demand. Any time you see fit or command. It is your word
Above all else, your thoughts and happiness and pleasure

Above all else, above mine always. It is your wish and your
Right and I want to submit to you fully, and pledge my loyalty,

My gratitude, my devotion, my adoration, I need more than
Anything, too, the word worship. I need to worship you. You
Deserve to be worshiped. To be prayed at. I need the sweet strong

Colossal seeming hard altar of your body to pray at and profess
My love and full belief in. I need you...

Above. Above.
Everything. High. Tall. Not. Equal. To.

Let me pray now. Mold me, discipline me, teach and instruct,
Guide me down dark paths
Only you would have the power to bring me back from.

I need to be small, weak, little. Inferior. It is what I need,
Though it might be wrong.

I need to pray. I need to show my faith and devotion.
I need a test, many wonderful intricate deep delving tests,
Many delicious intense passionate shows of my leaps of faith
And of my deep affirmation and commitment.

You are God in my eyes, and you always will be.
And I need desperately right now...

A test of faith. To prove myself worthy
Of your holiness.