Lingering

Cold...numb, bitterness clogs my system as I gazed through life with stains from my past wandering through my mind. I'm always reminded of how FUCKED UP people are, constant disappointments that kills me slowly on the inside. As I breathed deeply into my shirt in attempt to quell the burning sensation in my heart...tears flooded my face anger stirs my spirit. As I drift reenacting my most shameful but hurtful deeds, the sacrifices I make but yet still I'm struggling, struggling to keep and stay afloat...my mind is like a tangled thread with no ends insanity is near! As I feel light headed the voices in my head had a million questions and I could only grasp only a few
 " Are you sure your sane?"..." Is reality a mere dream with an audience watching your brain activity on a wide screen"..." will you always feel like this?"...
My body twitches as I unscramble the other voices and I caught up with myself whilst looking around to only realize I am on the border of sanity and insanity because that's what pain buried and covered with fake smiles and laughter does to a person.