deepundergroundpoetry.com

Nutshell

I've been homeless. Hungry and unbathed for days on end. No child should ever have to endure living such adversity.  
 
I've been a junkie, an alcoholic and a dope smoking wannabe hippy. However, addiction, has never been my thing.  
 
I've been obsessive, compulsive and impulsive too. Until I found inner peace through nourishing my mind, body & soul through alternative lifestyle choices.  
 
I woke up just before my 18th birthday, and was astounded that I was still alive & breathing after self medicating on powders, and everything in between. Still thinking suicide is a cowardly act, some 20 years later.  
 
Life, is meant to be endured, and lived.  
 
I married a man that gave me 2 children, who then refused to claim them as his own by signing their birth certificates, even after DNA paternity testing. He worked offshore, and was shagging every whore under the sun.  
 
His threats to leave me motivated me to leave him, and I never looked back. Its no fun being in a relationship with a man that drinks heavily, and beats you down whenever you question his integrity.  
 
He gave me a choice to leave with my car, the children, and our clothes, or leave in a body bag. I chose my children, and the life I had ahead of me.  
 
Since then, I've achieved more than I could've ever of hoped to achieve. Dreams, do come to fruition.  
 
But, its been a lonely road.  
 
You have to keep your own counsel, be self sufficient, and learn to say no to the temptation that lurks at every intersection you arrive upon. Stop signs are meant to be adhered to, and not just read.  
 
Self sacrificing or sacrificing the lives of your dependents, isn't the way to live. Rise above, and the universe shall provide.    
 
Compromise, shouldn't equate to losing your self, or your loved ones.  
 
Throughout all the pain & misery, and the sleepless nights crying myself to sleep, its fair to say that my burdens have ripened me.  
 
My soul has blossomed from the adversities, just as my mind and body have flourished, equally.  
 
I've learnt to laugh at myself, even when my eyes have been filled with tears. Its helped me to maintain my youthfulness.
 
My time, is still coming... to exercise my freedom.
Written by shadow_starzzz
Published
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