Last Laugh

I'm sure you lie awake smiling at night
As images of what you did to me flash across your window
And I'm sure a flame of strength touches your ego
As you recall the way I burned in fire you evoked
You caress yourself in the brilliance of your charm
And build yourself up from the clever lies you tell
I believed we were on the same page as you'd often said
But no, we were writing a different book
Mine was filled with chapters of honesty
Of heartfelt feelings and knowing what I want
Yours was purposely written in foreign script
So that I couldn't decode your true intentions
You gave enough words to put me at ease
And took advantage of my patience and respect for your needs
My fragile state was your perfect shot for taking action
Destruction when I needed love most was sure to get a reaction
And it did

I don't want to believe I am right
But what do you expect when you left?
How can I be wrong?

You lit the match to kill me
And relished in the way my heart crisped up
I am the perfect thing to satiate your apatite
When pieces of my aching flesh roast on the core of you
You were starved for love that I would have given and had plenty of
But you only wanted to be filled up with control
So you ate pieces of me and fed off my slow painful deaths
The deaths that made you feel alive
I died just how you wanted
All went according to plan
Dark cold spurs attached themselves to my skin
Reminders everywhere invaded my survival
So I laid cold in frozen states
Too numb to move my lips to scream for help
Blankets of tears were all I had to keep me warm
But they escaped my eyes and turned to ice as they fell

Funny story
I went into the street into oncoming traffic
I laid there for a while waiting for cars to come by
I thought it might be fun to know how badly I had fallen
And to litter the road with poetic musings of my broken life
To see how far you drove me
And how far under I could drive myself
I dreamt of being buried under recyclable material
Turning to nothing but emotional garbage
Body parts splattered across the way
Extracting guts from a girl who once lived
Painting the street in the colour of how I felt with you
And what it's like without you
Staining the sidewalks with colours of all else I lost
And all I'll never get back
So you could see remnants of the hurt, anger and shame
Along with the love and happiness almost known
The torture from haunting, burning regret
The sorrow you wanted kept far from your view
From a part of me sliced from the inside
The only way you will believe me
The only way you'll see my feelings were sincere
Is to die for it
Because I'm not worth your trust
I knew you'd never look at my depths any other way
If guts emerge from my chest then you'll know it's from the heart
Reshaping the pavement with imprints of the amusement of my feelings
Walk all over me, walk all over me
Take steps to slice me deeper
If I am going to drown let it be in the blood that defined me
Spilled by your hand, the last hand I want to feel
The last touch, before I depart
So you can have the last laugh