Misery   -  - - for the Misery’s Guest Comp

 
Misery like a shadow, slowly creeps over me
It just happens to be my own shadow

It presses down on me, shoulder and head
Pushing them into the pit of my stomach

It doesn’t always come with its ally of tears
But when it does, oh how they flow

Sometimes it manifests is nightmares and flashbacks
Other times my mood is very low to the ground

I can stare out of the window for hours, night or day
There is nothing I see, recognise or remember

They say ‘Misery loves company.’ I, however, do not
I pretend for others, then, the low is even lower

Sometimes the descent is fast, deep and very dark
The whole atmosphere is oppressive, maybe evil?

I can be in the sunniest of rooms, bathed in sunlight
It still feels like a dark, dank and musty cellar

Suicidal thoughts of morbidity sometimes pay a visit
I am thankful for logic and reason: I’m not that brave

It is not something I can snap myself out of: I’ve tried
Human encouragement like the drugs, don’t work

A nagging partner and a moaning child doesn’t help
Friends now choose to avoid melancholic interactions

Misery is something you own; it’s just a gift for you
A gift wrapped in black tissue paper, you give to yourself

However one morning your face meets the sunrise and smiles
The downward pressure has disappeared, you relax and sigh

You become yourself again, starting to take an interest in things
Life returns to normal, whatever normal really is?

If I could really bottle the thing that brings me out of misery
I would never be miserable ever again

My therapist concludes Bi-polar, I conclude melancholia
It’s some thing you can just choose to live with, drug free

There’s a strangeness; I can write comedic poetry in misery
And write miserable poetry whilst relatively happy

I think creativity is silently harvested from the sub conscious
It is, or can be, harvested regardless of mood

Maybe there is nothing wrong with being in misery
Maybe it’s just as natural as being happy

Maybe trying hard to get out of misery is counter productive
Maybe chilling out with misery is the answer?