deepundergroundpoetry.com

Secondary Place

I want to find a secondary place
Where I can emotionally dress down
Take off my armor to let it out
So I can let it go

I just want release
From the things I must keep concealed
When the world becomes overwhelming
When I can hardly sell the mask

I wear my armor daily like a pro
And my sensitivities, they don't show
Because I don't want everyone to know
I want someone to, though

So they can find the cracks in my shield
And help me repair them to make it better
To help me find my way out of my shell
When I'm too stuck and numd to move

Sometimes all you need is to be touched
Deeply and in ways that mean something
A warm hand to unthaw the ice
To stop the cold from taking over

Though melting can sometimes turn me to water
I know that it's relieving to wash away all that lies beneath
Even if it hurts, it doesn't mean I'm going to drown
Sun can remind me that I belong in the light

It gets so exhausting
To keep up the 'immune to pain' facade
And by the end of the day, I have to take it off
Because it's so heavy with crushing weight

But when I'm naked and alone with my emotional self
I question whether or not her vulnerabilities should exist
And I almost believe the things that the rest of the world insists
Because the mirror can break me when it agrees and persists

Now I know that I am a mess of feelings
But I don't want to feel dirty in it
I want to be comfortable in skin that is my own
Even if its fragile in ways that most can't understand

This shouldn't be a battle of strength versus weakness
There is strength in being strong when you need to be
And strength in admitting you're weak when you are
Why is it not okay to be both?

Weaknesses do not define someone's character
It is how they deal with them that does
Part of being human is being flawed and vulnerable
Shame should not accompany intense emotion

Sometimes I want someone to reassure me it's okay
When I feel too much
And someone who knows that I'm not okay
When I'm not feeling enough

Because though the voice in my head can be encouraging
She can be equally discouraging
And I get tired of fighting to get out of my own head
Just for the right to feel content as I am

Funny how the safe space you create
Isn't always so safe
When words from others can invade
Those ones that cut like blades

Echoes of false messages can nearly ring true
If you don't make conscious effort not to hear them
And the sound of your own voice can be piercing
When it has nothing helpful to say

Some girls wanna feel beautiful with makeup
Or look good in fancy clothes
Others think surgery will enhance their looks
They struggle to embrace their natural beauty

Me, I'm misunderstood
Not simplified enough to blend in
Have complexities that make me stand out in different ways
I can't cover up with an image that isn't mine

I don't want to hide
And I don't want to be anyone other than myself
I just want to feel beautiful being complicated
But it's not that simple
Written by WoundedHeart
Published
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