deepundergroundpoetry.com

Californication
The Valley heat was unbearable
eradicated sunshine
mercilessly manacled the moments slipping
into late afternoon
ghosting life from nature, cement and concrete.
The road curved by the hills offering some cool breeze
skyview of the city
on one side
on the way to Old Town Pasadena
We walked aimlessly absorbing old and new
crushing memories beneath our feet
to rustle of palm trees
there was nothing but stillness
floating
like a last lingering breath exhaled to rest at dusk
Roads came undone against the mustard sky
Ventura, Santa Ana and Hollywood freeways
merged flowing seamlessly
like a bloodstream in a heartless body
We saw ourselves in vacant eyes of
snake charmers, Marylin and Superman
on the walk of fame and shame
wearing the scent of fear
hopelessness, piss and misery
on skin
reminding us
fragility of fate; underbelly of all things
pretty
drunks and whores
bargaining with fool’s gold
a block away from Scientology
The night was indifferent
to the moon swallowing artificial lights
flashing on dark canvas above us
with a five dollar Oscar in hand
and a Slash T-shirt tattoo'd on back
memories flickered
in the rearview mirror
where life is more about sadness than happiness
Welcome to Hollywood
Photo: taken by me.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 23
reading list entries 2
comments 43
reads 966
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
18th Jul 2017 6:01am
<< post removed >>

Re: Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 5:36pm
..and there's a strip bar just before Western blvd called 99 pretty girls and one Ugly one ;) to be honest its one place that a writer will find plenty of inspiration and muses for any kind of write, but the damn smell of cocktail mix of piss, weed and alcohol gets some getting used to..lol
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
18th Jul 2017 8:38pm
<< post removed >>

Re: Re. Californication
19th Jul 2017 7:40am
Dammit Tod stop teasing us with deactivating and activating your profile, by the time i refresh my page poof you're gone lol
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Nov 2018 00:49am
19th Jul 2017 7:46am
<< post removed >>

Re: Re. Californication
20th Jul 2017 3:43am
Re: Re. Californication
25th Jul 2017 9:32pm
Why in the hell did we not go there that night? Let's put that on our list with the already two dozen west Los Angeles adventures we have planned upon my return, best buddy! -"Falco"
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Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 5:34am
Because....i wanted you to save $$ in buying souvenirs lol even though we spent more on parking, the gas, the drive..but the fun we had was priceless :)
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 6:11am
Rina.. simply brilliant... still kicking ass.. with the truth.. love, and respect..
Dave
Dave
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Re: Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 8:39pm
Your best to date. The words flowing seamlessly hardly a superfluous word Kexby
2

Re: Re. Californication
20th Jul 2017 3:46am
Thank you so much Dave for enjoying a slice of this city. It's a tough town but definitely fun.
Re: Re. Californication
20th Jul 2017 3:48am
Mr. Kexby, thrills me to see you think so highly of this poem, it means so much to me, thank you!
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 6:16am
I'm a long, long way from Cali, never have I set foot there but I almost feel as though I have reading through this. This is clearer than any picture could be, I don't know how you do it, Vee, you certainly never cease to amaze.
It really hits deep, all throughout, that tightrope between success and failure is ever so thin.
It seems success doesn't bring as much happiness as failure does sadness.
Superb pen.
~anonshadow
It really hits deep, all throughout, that tightrope between success and failure is ever so thin.
It seems success doesn't bring as much happiness as failure does sadness.
Superb pen.
~anonshadow
1

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 5:36am
I've been there on countless times, days and nights and each presents itself differently but for some reason on this night, i was able to see things with naked eyes and it hit hard and deep.
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 6:38am
you can see the celluloid heroes
as you walk down Hollywood Blvd;
search for the yellow bricks
but it's a long way from Oz.
incredible bereavement...
as you walk down Hollywood Blvd;
search for the yellow bricks
but it's a long way from Oz.
incredible bereavement...
1

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 5:40am
It's very interesting that the moto in realestate (location, location,location) even applies on that small square feet commemorating an icon, the more popular ones are at the heart of the blvd and lesser known celeberities get to have it away from the limelight. We walked quite a ways because Gemini wanted to see his idols and in return we got to see more of the alleys and true grit.
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 7:18am
This is a great piece. Reminds me of the song by The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
1

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 5:42am
It's one of my favorite songs too Eswaller. I noticed in your bio that you're from cali also which shows your appreciation to this piece, my many thanks for liking it.
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 7:26am
Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 5:46am
Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 11:39pm
ahhhh..a native New Yorker hittin the pavement with a Cali girl... Im in!!!!..
1

Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 8:33am
Its a gorgeous and haunting, like the icons of tinsel town itself. You pull back the curtain and subtly reveal the humanity that aches in any living being. Third stanza in particular lit my mind's eye on fire. It is well done.
2

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 5:51am
It's funny that i wasn't even planning on writing this piece or any piece especially on this subject but then suddenly on the second day the words needed to take flight and it was written in less than 5 min. I'm very much like you Daniel, i dont write very often but when i do it better have something profound to say and it damn well be different that will not make me bored or put the reader in nausating boredom of sameness. I'm a hard critique when it comes to my own creations but this one is one that will stay amongst favorites.
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 9:22am
''fragility of fate''
some phrase to ponder over,
again
and again.
sketch.
inking.
some phrase to ponder over,
again
and again.
sketch.
inking.
1

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 5:54am
I have pondered quite a bit over the years on fate, luck, kismet and i have a theory...maybe i'll save it for some poem at a future date.
Re. Californication
Anonymous
18th Jul 2017 12:26pm
pretty detailed write vee well done I should think m

1

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 6:02am
Monsieur, You left a huge void by leaving but know that you will never be forgotten.
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 1:13pm
I'm sitting here thinking what a sad trip to LA LA land when it occurred to me...I haven't been there in person! lol...truly masterful storytelling V, I mean wow I really felt like I was there!
2

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 6:04am
You must visit sometime, its quite awesome and large enough to offer so many different things and never a dull moment.
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 1:34pm
Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 6:07am
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 3:51pm
you describe so well a place I would never want to visit :-)
excellent ink :-)
excellent ink :-)
1

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 6:10am
Don't let the bookcover taint your thoughts David, its got substance and definitely a feast of a muse for any writer, but visiting doesn't even begin to uncover layers and layers what it offers.
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 5:01pm
And She hit those grimy streets paved with stars -A perfect window to the highlife and the low.
Tell me Your star is being presented soon eh?
Excellence of timbre told in snap-shot style!!!
Tell me Your star is being presented soon eh?
Excellence of timbre told in snap-shot style!!!
2

Re: Re. Californication
There are 200 blank stars left on the boulevard of broken dreams and if I have anything to do with it, we are going to get Reina one of those stars that she deserves. -Gemini
1

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 6:19am
Its funny i used to draw stars without removing the pen from paper with perfect 5 point angles,lines intersecting. It kept me busy for many hours when i was a kid. thanks for enjoying my take on the glitz, the glamour and the seedy side of the business, your support is always appreciated Soul.
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 5:46pm
Rina, this is awesome. I haven't been there since I was a kid but I remember enough to know that your imagery is spot-on...broken dreams, shattered self esteem...sacrifices to the gods of fame and fortune. Bravisima bella poeta.
2

Re: Re. Californication
13th Aug 2017 2:42pm
It hasn't changed much. It's one of those timeless places that attracts the same tourists and the same residents, the difference is we change each time we go there. Thank you GW for enjoying my take on it, your insights and comments are always appreciated :)
Re. Californication
18th Jul 2017 9:56pm
Hey, Vee. It's been a few years since I have given my notes to somebody on one of their poems either here or on this website or anywhere else so this is a bit of a challenge considering that your skill set is beyond mine but here's my best shot:
First off I love the title because I love the show Californication but I have a feeling you were paying tribute to The chili peppers song.
I also like how throughout the poem you write about yourself and the other character using the first person POV but the setting is semi third person POV until the smell of Hollywood.
S1-no notes. Well done.
S2-also well done especially line 3.
S3-Will you please define "mustard sky" for me?
S4-L2 replace superman with a less famous superhero that you saw. I suggest Spiderman because it's in the same line as the snake charmer's and maybe one of the characters has a fear of spiders and the other character has a fear of snakes so that would fit in the same line. Just my humble opinion, of course.
S4L11- Will you please define "fools gold" in this context?
S5L12- I love the Scientology reference because it creates the most diversified neighborhood on the planet. I've been to Hollywood boulevard at night before so I know that you're describing it perfectly!
S5 L6-8: this is heartbreaking to read, Vee. It's like there was an underbelly of sadness throughout the poem that shows its face at the Very end. Two questions: what memories flickered in the rearview mirror? Will you please explain why an eight to me completely?
"Welcome to Hollywood" is the perfect ending!
In order to give my complete assessment I need you to answer those few questions throughout my notes but overall, I think it is an absolutely brilliant piece.
P.S. That was about 90% of my notes that I was able to give you thus far.
First off I love the title because I love the show Californication but I have a feeling you were paying tribute to The chili peppers song.
I also like how throughout the poem you write about yourself and the other character using the first person POV but the setting is semi third person POV until the smell of Hollywood.
S1-no notes. Well done.
S2-also well done especially line 3.
S3-Will you please define "mustard sky" for me?
S4-L2 replace superman with a less famous superhero that you saw. I suggest Spiderman because it's in the same line as the snake charmer's and maybe one of the characters has a fear of spiders and the other character has a fear of snakes so that would fit in the same line. Just my humble opinion, of course.
S4L11- Will you please define "fools gold" in this context?
S5L12- I love the Scientology reference because it creates the most diversified neighborhood on the planet. I've been to Hollywood boulevard at night before so I know that you're describing it perfectly!
S5 L6-8: this is heartbreaking to read, Vee. It's like there was an underbelly of sadness throughout the poem that shows its face at the Very end. Two questions: what memories flickered in the rearview mirror? Will you please explain why an eight to me completely?
"Welcome to Hollywood" is the perfect ending!
In order to give my complete assessment I need you to answer those few questions throughout my notes but overall, I think it is an absolutely brilliant piece.
P.S. That was about 90% of my notes that I was able to give you thus far.
1

Re. Californication
19th Jul 2017 6:43am
Re. Californication
Beneath, all the "glorified" glitz and glamour of the city,lies the truer, darker aspects of its soul....as your only your remarkable and unique poetic lens could capture My Friend, i have never been to Hollywood, but while reading , it was as if i, along with the poet, was weaving my way in and out of all those people...vicariously experiencing the sights...the sounds...the smells... of what must be a fascinating, and somewhat intimidating place.
Vee...through your personal account, i sense your fondness for this city--its quirky, more intriguing aspects, right along with its less appealing, ones. And,Your conclusion leaves a powerful and memorable impact...clearly an insightful perception.
Enjoyed this Hollywood nite!
Vee...through your personal account, i sense your fondness for this city--its quirky, more intriguing aspects, right along with its less appealing, ones. And,Your conclusion leaves a powerful and memorable impact...clearly an insightful perception.
Enjoyed this Hollywood nite!
2

Re. Californication
22nd Jul 2017 9:20pm
Just got back from the vacation you were supposed to join me in lol. I'm already planning to go to the West Coast.
As always my luv, this is fantastic! You took me there
As always my luv, this is fantastic! You took me there
1

Re. Californication
27th Aug 2017 8:22am