Intimate Relationship with my Printer

I've never had good tech relationships with printers  
Can't say it's a conspiracy but you never know  
Recently I bought one at the big box store  
This soldier is treating me right  
A little hard to program, it's a one of those multitask jobs  
I gotta tell you though, once set up this babe is making me smile  
I actually look forward to doing mundane scans, faxes and printing  
She's taking care me in an intimate way  
It might even be love  
Can't figure out how to hold hands with her  
Maybe just feed her some high quality paper  
I don't even mind buying her name brand ink  
This is BIG