To That Boy

To the first boy I ever fell in love with.
I hate you
Before I met you I knew what I wanted in this world
I was going to be a rough and tough football player
But now I’ve discovered my passion for the arts
I knew the kind of girl I wanted to marry. a rule abiding, scientist who could always appreciate a good discussion about politics
But then I met you
A rebel pothead who couldn’t name three presidents, and I love it. I love everything about it
I hate you
I was going fly out of this small town and never look back.
Now I don’t want to leave but I must
Leaving no longer feels like an accomplishment
it feels like a punishment for a crime I have not committed
The first time we kissed I never hated you more
This was wrong I thought
But it felt so right
Your lips rewriting everything I know
For the first time in my life tommorow didn’t matter
All that mattered was us
Jesus fucking Christ I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I wish I hated you
But I don’t
I love you
I wish I didn’t love you