deepundergroundpoetry.com
Insights
Cigarette dangling
bobbing nonchalantly
my neurotic friend
talks
staccato phrases leap from her mouth
unfinished
sentences
linger in the air as she picks
picks picks picks at her
red raw and nearly bleeding nailbeds
3 cats
one black, curiously aloof, yet very affectionate
another tawny, sweet, absent-minded (thinks he’s a dog) and usually upstairs
the last
Siamese, proud, only to be touched
petted,
Her way.
Careful! lest you draw back…
red blood scratches on your arm.
Superficial wounds - meant to warn
the unwary - do not tread here
or maybe… no one can hurt me like I can
See?
red roses slowly drying crumpling inside
where no one can watch and gloat
see the damage caused by the
unthoughtful word
careless action
mis-stepped misdeed.
Cocooning
rocking softly
back
and forth
she soothes herself
lets her rocking be
her feelings
no crying only
rocking steadily rocking
rocking rocking rocking away
the pain
knowing at the same time that
this won’t really satisfy
but maybe…
sunflower seeds
tiny glass and clay beads
crocheting
smoking and
finally
picking picking picking…
Written by me long ago (at some point in the 90s) for SJ...
bobbing nonchalantly
my neurotic friend
talks
staccato phrases leap from her mouth
unfinished
sentences
linger in the air as she picks
picks picks picks at her
red raw and nearly bleeding nailbeds
3 cats
one black, curiously aloof, yet very affectionate
another tawny, sweet, absent-minded (thinks he’s a dog) and usually upstairs
the last
Siamese, proud, only to be touched
petted,
Her way.
Careful! lest you draw back…
red blood scratches on your arm.
Superficial wounds - meant to warn
the unwary - do not tread here
or maybe… no one can hurt me like I can
See?
red roses slowly drying crumpling inside
where no one can watch and gloat
see the damage caused by the
unthoughtful word
careless action
mis-stepped misdeed.
Cocooning
rocking softly
back
and forth
she soothes herself
lets her rocking be
her feelings
no crying only
rocking steadily rocking
rocking rocking rocking away
the pain
knowing at the same time that
this won’t really satisfy
but maybe…
sunflower seeds
tiny glass and clay beads
crocheting
smoking and
finally
picking picking picking…
Written by me long ago (at some point in the 90s) for SJ...
Published 6th Jul 2017
| Edited 7th Jul 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 0
comments 18
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The author encourages honest critique.
6th Jul 2017 2:41am
I enjoy seeing where poets come from. This was really insightful to self-care and thought process during such.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing.
Ahavati, luv ~
My friend really struggled. I do not know how she fares now, though. We rarely have contact anymore.
I remember she requested a poem from me and this is what I came up with. She was pleased; I do not know if she kept it, but I happened to find a copy of it whilst cleaning out unopened boxes I found nesting in my closet and decided to post it.
Thank you, luv, for coming by to comment on your wonderfully insightful way. :-*
My friend really struggled. I do not know how she fares now, though. We rarely have contact anymore.
I remember she requested a poem from me and this is what I came up with. She was pleased; I do not know if she kept it, but I happened to find a copy of it whilst cleaning out unopened boxes I found nesting in my closet and decided to post it.
Thank you, luv, for coming by to comment on your wonderfully insightful way. :-*
6th Jul 2017 5:15am
I find myself crafting metaphors for human behavior...interpretation gone into left field.
JAZZMANOR, luv ~
You are correct in your assessment of this poem and, thus, assessment of the vagaries of human behavior. Tis an endlessly captivating subject.
You've caused me to think now that this poem regarding my friend is a gateway into not simply assessing and examining others, nor simply examining and assessing oneself, but examining, exploring, and assessing one's own thoughts and ways of thinking. I have done this before, but meta-thinking can be quite challenging.
To think about one's thoughts and the origination of those thoughts, well, tis a fractal process and becomes a disorienting thing. Thank you for gifting me today, luv. :-*
You are correct in your assessment of this poem and, thus, assessment of the vagaries of human behavior. Tis an endlessly captivating subject.
You've caused me to think now that this poem regarding my friend is a gateway into not simply assessing and examining others, nor simply examining and assessing oneself, but examining, exploring, and assessing one's own thoughts and ways of thinking. I have done this before, but meta-thinking can be quite challenging.
To think about one's thoughts and the origination of those thoughts, well, tis a fractal process and becomes a disorienting thing. Thank you for gifting me today, luv. :-*
7th Jul 2017 6:11am
6th Jul 2017 7:50am
it's been a while since reading you Savaja
this is a very introspective piece
glad you decided to share..
this is a very introspective piece
glad you decided to share..
Naajir, luv ~
It has been awhile since I was last here and last posted. Thank you for your welcoming; you are a gem.
This piece, though written for a friend of mine who struggled immensely, gives such fascinating insight (for me) into how people sometimes think and cope with tremendous pain and stress for that matter. She was going through a number of quite difficult life events and couldn't cry though she was in intense pain.
Sadly, I do not know how she fares now as she is no longer in contact with me. Life... Though twas written for her at her request many years ago, I ran across it recently in a box of things I was evicting from my closet. I remembered writing it, but I was surprised at how I'd chosen to write it. :-p Thank you again, luv. :-*
It has been awhile since I was last here and last posted. Thank you for your welcoming; you are a gem.
This piece, though written for a friend of mine who struggled immensely, gives such fascinating insight (for me) into how people sometimes think and cope with tremendous pain and stress for that matter. She was going through a number of quite difficult life events and couldn't cry though she was in intense pain.
Sadly, I do not know how she fares now as she is no longer in contact with me. Life... Though twas written for her at her request many years ago, I ran across it recently in a box of things I was evicting from my closet. I remembered writing it, but I was surprised at how I'd chosen to write it. :-p Thank you again, luv. :-*
6th Jul 2017 9:25am
Ahhh, LobodeSanPedro, luv ~
Oh brother mine, I've missed you. :-* Your succinct comment is quite wonderful you know. I tend to be overly verbose by nurture (and possibly nature too), I fear. So, your conveyance of such a wonderful comment in a few words is somewhat I need to learn.
Teach me, please, for to do such a thing I must needs first to write the immensity of what I would say then pare it down, agonizingly; thus I retain my loquaciousness rather than torturing myself. I would love to say such as you without going on and on about it, luv.
And, now, I am telling you truly all of this that I am quite lengthily conveying. Argh! I am quite certain someone other than I could do this in a more concise manner and better as well.
Now, after all that digression, thank you, luv. Thank you ever so much for such commentary by a writer like you is a gift indeed. :-*
Oh brother mine, I've missed you. :-* Your succinct comment is quite wonderful you know. I tend to be overly verbose by nurture (and possibly nature too), I fear. So, your conveyance of such a wonderful comment in a few words is somewhat I need to learn.
Teach me, please, for to do such a thing I must needs first to write the immensity of what I would say then pare it down, agonizingly; thus I retain my loquaciousness rather than torturing myself. I would love to say such as you without going on and on about it, luv.
And, now, I am telling you truly all of this that I am quite lengthily conveying. Argh! I am quite certain someone other than I could do this in a more concise manner and better as well.
Now, after all that digression, thank you, luv. Thank you ever so much for such commentary by a writer like you is a gift indeed. :-*
6th Jul 2017 12:02pm
7th Jul 2017 1:36am
My Granite ~
I'm glad to be back, luv, and know, I may not always be here though I will remain logged in as a reminder to myself to continue to visit.
Thank you for visiting me and liking this piece. It means a great deal to me that you've found somewhat in it. :-*
I'm glad to be back, luv, and know, I may not always be here though I will remain logged in as a reminder to myself to continue to visit.
Thank you for visiting me and liking this piece. It means a great deal to me that you've found somewhat in it. :-*
6th Jul 2017 4:53pm
So wonderful to read you again ...
Beautiful imagery ... when thought processes become to difficult to express, we try to find other means of confort...
Beautiful imagery ... when thought processes become to difficult to express, we try to find other means of confort...
Ahhh, jemac ~
Thank you so. :-* Your comment elicits a bliss within me for you write so evocatively. I have come time upon time to your writings and read, unable to wrest my eyes from the page, nay, unwilling to do so.
Watching my friend endeavor to soothe herself in some of these ways was distressing to me, especially as I tried to ameliorate her distress and could only help a little.
I recall reading a poem by you about love and boldly believing in another's love, setting off together on one of the greatest adventures; that poem is one of my very favorite. I think I will always remember it, luv. You saying tis wonderful to read me again...ahhh, jemac, I am honored so. :-*
Thank you so. :-* Your comment elicits a bliss within me for you write so evocatively. I have come time upon time to your writings and read, unable to wrest my eyes from the page, nay, unwilling to do so.
Watching my friend endeavor to soothe herself in some of these ways was distressing to me, especially as I tried to ameliorate her distress and could only help a little.
I recall reading a poem by you about love and boldly believing in another's love, setting off together on one of the greatest adventures; that poem is one of my very favorite. I think I will always remember it, luv. You saying tis wonderful to read me again...ahhh, jemac, I am honored so. :-*
7th Jul 2017 4:43am
It's so great to see your pen in action, no matter if the thoughts were inked years ago. Im just happy to read your words and feel your presence on dup again.😘 Enjoyable read! Xo
RainC_Tara, luv ~
Thank you, you sweetheart. I think tis entirely too probable that I was a better writer then than I am now. :-p
Thank you for your warm welcome. I will keep working on visiting regularly. Remaining logged in continously helps me remember to periodically do so, though I've yet to re-enter fully. :-p
I am gladdened to know you enjoyed reading this piece. Tis a curious thing this device: time. Things occur at breakneck pace or meander along so tis entirely possible that years have passed even though moments are oft wretchedly slow in their passage.
It seems both so very long ago that I wrote this, yet coming upon this again it seemed as though I'd just seen my old friend, my daughter but a toddler. Of course, I was brought abruptly back by my wee son, careening wildly through. :-D
Thank you for reminding me of that, luv. :-* Somehow you did and I'm grateful - the ways in which my mind works, continuously leave me agog... . . .
Thank you, you sweetheart. I think tis entirely too probable that I was a better writer then than I am now. :-p
Thank you for your warm welcome. I will keep working on visiting regularly. Remaining logged in continously helps me remember to periodically do so, though I've yet to re-enter fully. :-p
I am gladdened to know you enjoyed reading this piece. Tis a curious thing this device: time. Things occur at breakneck pace or meander along so tis entirely possible that years have passed even though moments are oft wretchedly slow in their passage.
It seems both so very long ago that I wrote this, yet coming upon this again it seemed as though I'd just seen my old friend, my daughter but a toddler. Of course, I was brought abruptly back by my wee son, careening wildly through. :-D
Thank you for reminding me of that, luv. :-* Somehow you did and I'm grateful - the ways in which my mind works, continuously leave me agog... . . .
8th Jul 2017 6:17pm
This is not only a very definitive character analysis, but it is also a piece that was written with the poet's own compassionate ink!
as individualized, as it is, in its self-defining, selfishly demanding nature, when it comes to pain--emotional / physical--we all seem to have one thing in common : we all search for those coping mechanisms that help us to just get thru our days. And with your poem, you have not only allowed your readers a glimpse at the very painful struggle your friend was experiencing, but you presented this person's behaviors in a way that permitted us to understand......to sympathize, and perhaps, even to identify with.
I enjoyed the read! Thanks for posting!
You truly honored your friend!
as individualized, as it is, in its self-defining, selfishly demanding nature, when it comes to pain--emotional / physical--we all seem to have one thing in common : we all search for those coping mechanisms that help us to just get thru our days. And with your poem, you have not only allowed your readers a glimpse at the very painful struggle your friend was experiencing, but you presented this person's behaviors in a way that permitted us to understand......to sympathize, and perhaps, even to identify with.
I enjoyed the read! Thanks for posting!
You truly honored your friend!
7th Aug 2017 2:25am
10th Jan 2020 6:04am
Your poetry is a pleasure to read. Profound. Well deserved :) pleez do comment/ review/ write your thoughts on my website & poems 2 thank you :)
