deepundergroundpoetry.com
Feels like the edge.
Three years ago
I stood on that edge,
But it feels like
Three weeks ago.
A damp early morning
With that skin-cutting wind,
But it feels like
A night so recent.
It was an emotion-full hour
With that lead-heavy heart,
But it feels like
It was only the last.
One hell of a minute
With that burning stomach,
But it feels like
One minute just gone.
The worst pain in a second
With that ephemeral stab,
But it feels like
The here and the now.
Three years ago
I was on that edge,
But it was you that jumped
Three weeks ago.
Published 5th Jul 2017
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The author encourages honest critique.
6th Jul 2017 8:15am
haunting. i like how you are left wondering until the altered repeat of the first stanza and reveal of events in the last stanza.
6th Jul 2017 11:10am
Thanks yellow-house. I wanted to recall the desperation I felt in that situation. And how emotional pressure escalates, the worst of it being experienced over a very short amount of time. It felt a little cliché to say “it was you that jumped,” and perhaps anticlimactic. But he did jump, and so I didn't feel I could dress it up any other way. Cheers, Chris
Anonymous
6th Jul 2017 8:42pm
I personally remember that feeling all too well and just commented a few minutes ago about that on another write!
Wow!
Good stuff!
Welcome to DUP.
Wow!
Good stuff!
Welcome to DUP.
6th Jul 2017 10:36pm
Thanks Ragnar. I'm really enjoying lots of the poems here on DUP, and the supportive people such as yourself. Cheers, Chris
7th Jul 2017 1:36am
7th Jul 2017 3:54pm
