Despair,loss, anger and regression

I abandoned the minefield  
of the push, pull, push
recollections, drunk
overdose  
for you to tell me I
'didn't really want to die'  
because of the amount.  
 
What I didn't tell him  
I only stopped because
I was no longer alone
ghosts I live with stop
in their tracks when people  
walked through the door.  
 
I'm sorry you feel
like you're the king of
severe depression  
only you can
* overdose
*feel like shit
*want to die  
 
What I'm not sorry for
Leaving places and people  
that attack me.  
 
I don't need to be around
carbon-copies of my dad.
 
What do I need?
Peace of mind  
no worries that my secrets
(told to your girl)
will reach you.  
 
You are not the only one  
entitled to feel like shit
Get off your high horse
& I'll step up my game  
 
But i've stepped off the  
platform now
 
Truthfully,  
I know you feel shit  
& I know your life  
('it's not a lifeeee it's an existence)  
has troubles
 
but fuck you  
truthfully.  
 
I opened up wound after
wound and patched up yours  
laid awake at night worrying  
in case you didn't make it  
through to the morning
 
but you have lost
all of my respect
and in doing so
have lost me
 
fuck you.