Will I ever be free?

This feeling destroys me,
But I can't seem to escape.
Why can't it let me be?
Everyday my heart breaks more and more,
But this bottle is what I'm here for.
The scars remind me what could have been,
I am nothing but a sin.
These pills I take are like water,
Everyday I am more of a bother.
Maybe one more will do the trick,
Maybe I won't feel as sick.
This bottle is only temporary,
Maybe I'll have a bloody mary.
This feeling destroys me.
But I can't seem to escape.
Why can't it let me be?
They will never understand,
I will always be damned.
They tell me I'm a joke,
That I should just go and choke.
What if I did,
Who will take the higher bid?
I can't stand this anymore,
What am I even here for?
These scars all have a story,
They are all so gory.  
Will I ever be free?