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There's a Spider in the House
There's a spider in the house,
And I don't know where it went,
Oh, if it only were a mouse!
Instead, my wits are nearly spent.
I have opened every cupboard,
I have checked the stairs and hall,
I have blithered and I've blubbered,
That spiders weren't a thing at all!
With eight long legs, as many eyes,
Hair in just abominable places,
To top it off, of massive size,
Fangs protruding from their faces.
Why such a horrid creature was ever,
Deemed fit for existence,
God must've though himself so clever,
(He's quite mistaken, in this instance).
Newspaper rolled in hand, I strode,
Face fixed in fierce determination,
I once more scoured my abode,
Mission: complete arachnid nihilation.
Aha! At last, I spot the creature,
Creepy-crawling up a chair,
WHACK! SWAT! SPLAT!
BAM! That'll teach her (or him),
Or what's left of what is there.
With victorious grin spread cheek-to-cheek,
Face flushed from actioned wrath,
The hunt - thrilled, I could barely speak,
Now to celebrate, a bath!
To draw a bath - that sounded bliss,
What more soothes than a wash and scrub?
But what caught my eye, too big to miss...
There was a spider in my tub!
And I don't know where it went,
Oh, if it only were a mouse!
Instead, my wits are nearly spent.
I have opened every cupboard,
I have checked the stairs and hall,
I have blithered and I've blubbered,
That spiders weren't a thing at all!
With eight long legs, as many eyes,
Hair in just abominable places,
To top it off, of massive size,
Fangs protruding from their faces.
Why such a horrid creature was ever,
Deemed fit for existence,
God must've though himself so clever,
(He's quite mistaken, in this instance).
Newspaper rolled in hand, I strode,
Face fixed in fierce determination,
I once more scoured my abode,
Mission: complete arachnid nihilation.
Aha! At last, I spot the creature,
Creepy-crawling up a chair,
WHACK! SWAT! SPLAT!
BAM! That'll teach her (or him),
Or what's left of what is there.
With victorious grin spread cheek-to-cheek,
Face flushed from actioned wrath,
The hunt - thrilled, I could barely speak,
Now to celebrate, a bath!
To draw a bath - that sounded bliss,
What more soothes than a wash and scrub?
But what caught my eye, too big to miss...
There was a spider in my tub!
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