Young lovedead

Young love is deadly.. It takes the naivety  and rebelious youth and throws them into a Spartan pit. They will fight and fend for themselves in situations that they don't even have the facts too..

More blood has been spilled in young love than I can ever remember as an adult. My world was like a snow globe in the hands of toddler, with every shake and quake it was another suicidal text sent to the one I thought I loved because that's what all the kids were doing..

It was fucked up.

The generational consensus of teenagers in love was dramatic, it was shredded apart victims of themselves, it was suicidal formations that the other partner was supposed to handle because that was romanticized glorification of a toxic environment.

A 30 day relationship coming to an end and it was all over MySpace..changing your profile song to speeding cars by imogen heap because it sounded sad. I think my generation learned how to quietly cry out for help on social media due to the comfort of keeping your feelings subtle.

I remember watching a couple who had been together for 1 whole year in middle school break up in the cafeteria, I was heart broken because I had put this couple on a pedestal in hopes that I might date somone for 1 whole year too..

Young love is sick, it fills the void where self confidence and rationality are supposed to live.

My best friend in 9th grade slit her wrists and downed a bottle of tequila and sleeping pills because a boy broke her heart. I remember screaming hell fire at her as I applied pressure to her arms to stop the bleeding.. I was mad at him and furious at her for trying to die. I felt like an idiot when the I did the same thing 2 months later because the guy I thought was gonna be my high school sweetheart had convinced me that I was better off dead.

Young love is not like the movies, the couple who is in their late 80's and met when they were 15 are one and a million.. The other million are the desperate reaches out from teenagers and kids confusing missed connections with rejections and heart break with homicidal thoughts towards themselves.

Young love sets us up for failure, we breach into adulthood with familiar relations from the teenage mind, and watch the rise and fall of what you thought getting married was going to look like. It makes us doubt the intentions of ourselves and how to simply let things go, it cosigns every manipulative, codependent, unaccountable action that we have been conditioned to. It makes the emotionally abusive partner attractive because mind games meant they cared because at least you were on their mind...

So don't fall in young love, fall in wisdom, fall in building yourself up block by block like the first Lego set you got when you were a kid.. Piece by piece you can have the desierable knowledge that is yours and no one's for the taking. Fall in old love when dates can be just dates and your life can move on when they don't want to, Fall in tolerance, when you get to discover the world with another and you are no longer having a relationship based on welfare check ups to see if they actually went through with it, fall in maturity, when you get to have conversations about how much your job sucks but how much you love working, fall in independence, where you are not bound by the chains of yet again another asshole with a God complex trying to have you warship his verses of what you need to dress like today.. Fall in grace, when you can walk away from something that hurt you and not trip over your self doubt anymore.

fall in love with yourself... Fall in love with yourself.. Fall in love with yourself before anyone is capable of loving you.