Looking At Me

Freely admit being the most flawed  
person I know, which is easy  
as I would like to think  
I know myself better then  
I know others  
 
My haste in crafting a generalization  
about not only how others  
perceive me but how I see them  
has led to hurt and misunderstanding  
 
I could blame the bipolar diagnosis  
in my twenties but that would be  
a cop out  
instead at my best I look for  
evidence that my inferences  
are based on reality  
 
For my assumptions not only  
come into play in terms of  
close dyads but also  
political exchanges  
 
Most recently my belief that all  
the people in a shared political party  
had core values that distinguish  
them from others  
 
The election of 2016 showed me that  
is not necessarily true for many  
of the people who applauded  
my efforts in helping everyone from Jesse Jackson  
to Al Gore, from Patricia Schroeder to  
John Edwards, have directed some  
of the most vicious wordage  
 
For backing a candidate not formally  
a part of the clan though he routinely  
caucus with the same party and  
has a voting record as progressive as  
anyone's  
 
On a more personal level  
my romantic life is pretty much  
ancient history since moving to Oregon  
one woman willing to spend time  
at Valentines' Day but then rejecting  
even a kiss claiming avoiding germs  
 
Another insisting I was gay because  
I wasn't  responding affectionately enough  
on our first date and expressed a  
hesitation to be involved with tobacco  
smokers  
 
The most recent exchanging messages  
on Facebook and then accusing me of invading her space when making  
an inquiry related to a poem I had in the works  
 
So I deemed myself as unlovable at least when romance was concerned  
still do but now finding solace  
in the time spent alone  
 
Taking solace in the words  
in Henley of Don:  
"I wallowed in the springtime now  
I am welcoming the fall  
for everyone who helped me start  
and for everything that broke my heart  
for every breath, for every day  
of living this is my Thanksgiving"