Babies

 
Are babies cute
I hear you ask
From underneath
Your anonymous mask
Are they the cutest
Thing you’ve ever seen
I am thinking not
Or am I being mean
But there’s puppies,
There’s kittens
With or without
Their lost mittens
There’s cute little lambs
That turn into rams
Baby piglets and chimps
And Lamas with crimps
There’s hamsters and bears
Rabbits and hares
Even a baby sloth
Wrapped in cloth
Is a much cuter lot,  
Than the baby you’ve got
 
Babies of the human kind
Kill your soul and warp your mind
Never cute Ahs or uttering a goo
I’ve seen what mostly babies do
Projectile vomit at  
The speed of a comet
Green snot and boogers
Breast fed by cougars
Burping and farting
Nappy legs parting
Babies all stink
Even bathed in the sink
No amount of soap
Can fill you with hope
No amount of shampoo
Stops it smelling of poo
Then there’s the crying
While sitting or lying
The noise never stops
I’m calling the cops
 
If you want my advice
To keep everything nice
Don’t have babies
Get a dog with rabies