inferiority

You are putting yourself down
No, I`m not, but I know you want to have a go, so I deflect
 your sarcasm your words fall on stony ground.
The public laughed off my self-disparaging and your words
embarrassed you, I fenced off your attack.
As a runt in the family, I learned to be the one who told
jokes about my bullies, yes, my tormentors in a way
they didn`t get the meaning before the next day,
and they could say nothing without exposing their stupidity,
but it came with a hefty price I don`t if praise sent my way is
meant to belittle me to make me look silly in my attempt
to be known as a comedy writer