Bed'o'deathAutoBio(graphy), part 263 /  GreatGrandDadaCommunications From/To NoOneNoWhere

 


I've "wasted my life" under a compulsion
 to absorb as much music(al) & other cultural
 esoterica & effluvia as i could stuff into "me",  
so that "I" could be a "well-versed" esoteric musician
mysElf..........

this year marks 50years of this compulsive disorder.....
.....just another matter of
 "Nothing Really"
 as old age & chronic heart deterioration
play out it's 'humbling' effect on a  life-long humble
attempt to openly & freely "share my gifts"...
.. only to realize the funny  paradoxymoronic futility of  IT ALL........ [a]Ha...

so much so less so more so little of
a relatively timid life lived for risklessness....
a
'local hero' for a silly, might-as-well'a-been a minute
in a pond unworth pissing into, but,but,but
such idiot abstract evaluations of 'wasted' time, 'wasted' life,
'wasted' energy, 'wasted' Potential, & othersuch
abstracted stupid-human hierarchies (of Mine, of Mind, of yOURs, etc.)

death a-comin' to be the great EQualiser of all the humanMoronic
T'rump-cards that wee wee wee WE mindshit all over each other to
insure the ongoingness of egomade pain & & compulsory suffering
that WE perpetuate wit uncanny consistency of man-made God(s)
in vicious whiteMale patriarchcrazy...........&

to All This      just say      'so what?',   letting go to an unknowable
e'ternity wh'ere, so ill'logically,
NoThing  
                is EveryThing/AnyThing
                                    that any of Us Are

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