Riddle

 
Floppier than an aardvarks nose
Lacking the erectness of a rhinos horn
As limp as an old mans penis
As relaxed as a hippie on weed

Yet;

Can suck like a Dyson vacuum cleaner
Can suck better than a $5:00 whore
Sucks more than Meryl Streep
Sucks more than this poem

And is;

Longer than a grass snake
Longer than a trouser snake
Longer than a Dobermans tail
Longer than a slithering snail

And of course;

Multi-functional like a Swiss army knife
Multi-functional like a body massager
Can multi-task unlike men
Badly multi-tasks like women

Guessed yet?

It’s grey and hairy
It’s wrinkly
It looks like it needs a good iron
(Now it’s not your grandmother)

This riddle now debunked
It’s an elephants trunk