Father of the year

The 6 year olds are eating sugar
While he’s cleaning off the stairs
Of the talcum powder shower
That the 6 year olds left there
He has no energy for shouting
Lost his voice 6 kids ago
Silent Screams at them through tears that drip
They don't ever hear it though
Also his daughter, 16 years old
Calling checking in telling him she won't be home
She’s staying at her friends again
But her house is just up the road
He fakes a smile says I love you
He ain’t seen her since a week ago
Middle son, cooler than the bottom
Of the pillow that he’s sleeping on
Lack of interest in the life he seems to think is wrong
I ask him to forgive me for his struggle but I’m proud he’s getting strong
Look in his eyes like what kind of planet have you locked me in to keep me gone
Damn near 18 first son bout a man now
He look out for his siblings more now since their mom’s gone
Maybe cause I was sad took a lot to learn not to get bent
He gives me dap before we all turn in, but I look in his eyes and see resentment
And the oldest two ladies that I helped to create
Well, they won't even give me the time of day
Seems like I worked my life away
But to them I was gone, so to them I am hate  
And I'll give just 2 lines for the one I don’t see
She's a reminder that the pain never leaves
But I hope they see through the dumbshit of my fears
And no matter where they go to I will always keep them near
And I couldn't fight death, and I’m sorry that I’m selfish and sometimes feel
Like I am the only one here
I’m sorry if I disappoint
Now, or through the years
I know it feels like I’ve given up
Fuckin father of the year