deepundergroundpoetry.com
"The Happy Girl Is Ranting - Part two"
Your hair is nighttime tears, your eyes chocolate pools, your lips the softest of candies--sweet against my own mouth. Even when we didn't know each other I thought that you looked daring and cute when I would trace my fingers over your freckles so that your face would fill up with hot blush, something I knew you weren't used to. The look on your face when your eyes widened and then you looked away saying "No" though your eyes clearly said "Please don't stop". To think that just one year ago today we became something more then friends, diving down into something I myself hadn't truely known makes me smile. To think that we have been through so much and we are still going strong makes me want to cry tears of joy. To think that everytime I see, touch, or kiss you I fall back into that heated love where I look away when you look at me and I blush for no reason makes me laugh.
When I hear your voice saying "I love you" it sends shivers down my spine and my knees almost give in from under me. Those words aren't something I can ever get used to, they will forever make me smile, blush, then look away. As you may know I'm not good at being sentimental and 'lovey-dovey' but with you those are the only things I want to be, I love when you curl your arms around my own arm, though it may startle me at first, the feeling I get when you are the one who snuggles up against me makes me feel that you trust I am some one you can lean on. You're not just that girl who sat in the back of the room and didn't have any scissors, you never were. To me you were that girl who kept to herself, who felt lonely when surrounded by people, who was always writing something that didn't involve history or American studies, who reminded me of myself. When you stopped coming into school I felt---alone.
I felt we had some sort of connection through the fact that we were alike, in more ways then either of us knew. You did all the things I let go of. You wrote stories and poems and books. You dressed how you wanted not how others wanted. You were shy and polite. You were me.
Then of course that moment came, yes I'm skipping a lot, when I asked you to close your eyes, that fluttering feeling residing in my chest and stomach got all the more like a vibrating thump as I leaned down close to your soft lips. I remember having a moment of 'stop she isn't going to like you, you'll just make everything awkward and ruin it all' wash over me but even though I doubted myself I pushed forward. The second my lips touched yours I knew that I was always meant to be with you and the other that came before you were just preparing me for this one moment. I still remember the shade of red your face turned and the awkward silence after in which I said 'sorry', thinking that you were going to hate me and tell me to leave you alone. The fact that you didn't do that, the fact that we held hands under that table, the fact that I fell in love with you at that moment and didn't realize it makes me laugh.
"I wasn't looking, wasn't wanting, wasn't wishing when I met you, but once I saw I knew I loved you--feeling so much more then I ever did before, giving you so much more then I thought I could." I wasn't looking to fall in love when I met you, but I did anyway. I didn't want to find some one I could trust, but I did anyway. I didn't wish to be anything to anyone, but I did anyway. The moment I lay eyes on that flushed red face I knew that I loved you and was going to love you for a very long forever after. I've never really felt love before, the love I showed to people was either destroyed or forgotten or used or fake. So when I knew I loved you I thought it would pass or it would go away but I was wrong it only grew and bubbled and simmered until it became what it is now--something other people wish they had. I've also given you so much of myself, things I never thought I could detached and put in your hands to hold. I thought that if I took my heart and put it in your hands It'd fade away into the darkness forever but when you held your tiny hands around it and fit it snuggly in the place where your heart was it felt at home. At the time I didn't know where your heart went until I looked down and saw the broken mass beating within me. I had your heart, just as much as you had mine.
"It's almost like I wish you had me up against the wall, where my heart beats quicker and my breath gets thicker. It's almost like I wish you were running a hand through my hair, where the moment stops pacing and the time isn't wasting." The sexual motive in these words aren't even enough to describe the feeling you give me when you're kissing me, touching me, holding me close as I stifle a laugh into your shoulder, loving me. It's not just the fact that when you make love to me you make me feel good. It's the fact that I could have no make up on, my hair could be a total mess, I could be wearing sweatpants and a sweater and you'd still find me attractive enough to make love to me, which in all astonishes me. It's the fact that you call me beautiful in the middle of it all or that you look into my eyes when I'm just about to release and begin that odd reaction of laughing. It's the fact that we aren't just having sex--were making love.
I do hope you believe me when I call you beautiful, or at least understand that I mean it. It's just your entire body that I think is beautiful, which it is, it's the little things too. It's your eyes when they look away then at me under the strands of hair I'm about to push behind your ear, it's your smile when you blush when I compliment you, it's the freckles that dance across the bridge of your nose and sleep at your cheeks, it's you hands which I so very much love to hold, it's your neck which I can so easily fit my arms around, it's your torso which is always the aim of my hugs, it's your legs that I like to kiss and trace a few fingers over when they are bare, it's even your feet that (when warm) my feet like to snuggle with, it's your everything that I find beautiful.
A year ago if some one told me that I would be dating a beautiful, fun facted filled, humorous, entertaining, sweet, charming, flirtatious, sexy, mature, strong (on the inside), determined, creative, and very talented young woman--I would've laughed thinking that no one who has that many fantastic qualities would ever want to date some one like me; but now, today, is something I really wasn't expecting. I thought you would've left already, unable to handle all my baggage or my bipolar emotions, but you didn't, you stayed... With me.
A year ago if some one told me that I would be in love with the greatest girlfriend, writer, friend, lover, comedian, and poet IN ONE--I would've never believed my ears that some one as great as that would ever fall into my hands to love and to hold forever but look at us now. I have taken a silent vow to fight my way through words and insults of the two people closest to me to be with you, and to fight through my past--with you by my side.
A year ago today... If some one told me that I'd find some one that I could close to, that I'd find the perfect match to, that I'd love more and more with each day to come, that I'd be in love with my best friend...
I'd look over to you and smile, replying: "I know. I already have."
When I hear your voice saying "I love you" it sends shivers down my spine and my knees almost give in from under me. Those words aren't something I can ever get used to, they will forever make me smile, blush, then look away. As you may know I'm not good at being sentimental and 'lovey-dovey' but with you those are the only things I want to be, I love when you curl your arms around my own arm, though it may startle me at first, the feeling I get when you are the one who snuggles up against me makes me feel that you trust I am some one you can lean on. You're not just that girl who sat in the back of the room and didn't have any scissors, you never were. To me you were that girl who kept to herself, who felt lonely when surrounded by people, who was always writing something that didn't involve history or American studies, who reminded me of myself. When you stopped coming into school I felt---alone.
I felt we had some sort of connection through the fact that we were alike, in more ways then either of us knew. You did all the things I let go of. You wrote stories and poems and books. You dressed how you wanted not how others wanted. You were shy and polite. You were me.
Then of course that moment came, yes I'm skipping a lot, when I asked you to close your eyes, that fluttering feeling residing in my chest and stomach got all the more like a vibrating thump as I leaned down close to your soft lips. I remember having a moment of 'stop she isn't going to like you, you'll just make everything awkward and ruin it all' wash over me but even though I doubted myself I pushed forward. The second my lips touched yours I knew that I was always meant to be with you and the other that came before you were just preparing me for this one moment. I still remember the shade of red your face turned and the awkward silence after in which I said 'sorry', thinking that you were going to hate me and tell me to leave you alone. The fact that you didn't do that, the fact that we held hands under that table, the fact that I fell in love with you at that moment and didn't realize it makes me laugh.
"I wasn't looking, wasn't wanting, wasn't wishing when I met you, but once I saw I knew I loved you--feeling so much more then I ever did before, giving you so much more then I thought I could." I wasn't looking to fall in love when I met you, but I did anyway. I didn't want to find some one I could trust, but I did anyway. I didn't wish to be anything to anyone, but I did anyway. The moment I lay eyes on that flushed red face I knew that I loved you and was going to love you for a very long forever after. I've never really felt love before, the love I showed to people was either destroyed or forgotten or used or fake. So when I knew I loved you I thought it would pass or it would go away but I was wrong it only grew and bubbled and simmered until it became what it is now--something other people wish they had. I've also given you so much of myself, things I never thought I could detached and put in your hands to hold. I thought that if I took my heart and put it in your hands It'd fade away into the darkness forever but when you held your tiny hands around it and fit it snuggly in the place where your heart was it felt at home. At the time I didn't know where your heart went until I looked down and saw the broken mass beating within me. I had your heart, just as much as you had mine.
"It's almost like I wish you had me up against the wall, where my heart beats quicker and my breath gets thicker. It's almost like I wish you were running a hand through my hair, where the moment stops pacing and the time isn't wasting." The sexual motive in these words aren't even enough to describe the feeling you give me when you're kissing me, touching me, holding me close as I stifle a laugh into your shoulder, loving me. It's not just the fact that when you make love to me you make me feel good. It's the fact that I could have no make up on, my hair could be a total mess, I could be wearing sweatpants and a sweater and you'd still find me attractive enough to make love to me, which in all astonishes me. It's the fact that you call me beautiful in the middle of it all or that you look into my eyes when I'm just about to release and begin that odd reaction of laughing. It's the fact that we aren't just having sex--were making love.
I do hope you believe me when I call you beautiful, or at least understand that I mean it. It's just your entire body that I think is beautiful, which it is, it's the little things too. It's your eyes when they look away then at me under the strands of hair I'm about to push behind your ear, it's your smile when you blush when I compliment you, it's the freckles that dance across the bridge of your nose and sleep at your cheeks, it's you hands which I so very much love to hold, it's your neck which I can so easily fit my arms around, it's your torso which is always the aim of my hugs, it's your legs that I like to kiss and trace a few fingers over when they are bare, it's even your feet that (when warm) my feet like to snuggle with, it's your everything that I find beautiful.
A year ago if some one told me that I would be dating a beautiful, fun facted filled, humorous, entertaining, sweet, charming, flirtatious, sexy, mature, strong (on the inside), determined, creative, and very talented young woman--I would've laughed thinking that no one who has that many fantastic qualities would ever want to date some one like me; but now, today, is something I really wasn't expecting. I thought you would've left already, unable to handle all my baggage or my bipolar emotions, but you didn't, you stayed... With me.
A year ago if some one told me that I would be in love with the greatest girlfriend, writer, friend, lover, comedian, and poet IN ONE--I would've never believed my ears that some one as great as that would ever fall into my hands to love and to hold forever but look at us now. I have taken a silent vow to fight my way through words and insults of the two people closest to me to be with you, and to fight through my past--with you by my side.
A year ago today... If some one told me that I'd find some one that I could close to, that I'd find the perfect match to, that I'd love more and more with each day to come, that I'd be in love with my best friend...
I'd look over to you and smile, replying: "I know. I already have."
Published 26th Aug 2011
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Anonymous
27th Aug 2011 6:13am
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