Schizo

I wander the streets alone
No longer yearning for friends
Companionship is an impossibility
Too different, too odd
The wandering of my mind consumes me
Then let's me go into the oblivion
The cloud never leaves
I distract myself with morbid thoughts
I see her
Watching me
Scared of the freak yet somewhat intrigued
I think of what I'd do to her
If given the chance
I hope to find someone
Close minded and uptight
Say the most vulgar things to watch them cringe
I get off on the bizarre
I can't talk to you. I can't talk to anyone
You just wouldn't understand
No matter how much you wanted to.
I'm not right in the head
I know that much
When they watch me
I feel them talk
I can feel the judgement
Anger
An all too familiar feeling
I imagine breaking bones
Hurting with no remorse
Inflicting pain
Hands bruised
Releasing rage
Feeling moderately happy for a short time
After the beating is done
I continue my sad life
Masturbating to disgusting things
Thinking of whatever comes into my poisoned mind
I get off on the bizarre
Watching women happy with their significant other
Knowing that will never be me
I'll forever be the creepy guy in the corner
Playing with himself like a mental patient
I think of the day I will feel normal
Yet only partly desire such a thing
Part of me enjoys my insanity