useless poem

when i’ve caved  
and let loose the prize whose value is only when it is unrealized  
the ecstasy is brief  
15 seconds according to well studied data  
and i am robbed of tomorrow’s demise  
and ashamed of not being able to withhold  
 
while need is erased  
and prolactin is freed  
the sizzle is gone  
and my ego’s been frayed  
 
i can no longer brag  
or feel persistent ache  
and i wonder what’s next  
but to wait and regenerate  
 
i end up quite sad  
having been so bad  
my thoughts become simple  
on pause due to a dribble  
 
im sorry ive fallen  
from the noose of need  
and now all is quiet  
and the peace i find boring  
this silence so vacant and absent of charge  
ions do wander  
looking for hormones to latch their muted energy upon  
but i am useless till they do  
 
like these rote words on a string  
wasting your eyeballs precious time  
my voice expressing a quiet as are my thwarted desires  
for who needs to hear  
from a satiated being  
what good will come of fleeting pleasantry  
without all the sparks  
of pushing or shoving  
what good can come from relief that breeds sadness  
 
when never’s impaled  
with the greed of release  
im uninteresting and fade  
into a backlash of sad