Flip Flop

 
I have worked out
The difference between
A dick and a cock
On seeing a foolish
Or a stupid man
We call him s dick
Dick is derogatory
Cock, on the other hand
Compared to its chicken counterpart
Is proud, and erect
As it struts and preens
So what would you rather have?
And that’s not just a question
For the male congregation
Would it be dick or cock?

Does dick or cock matter?
If you happen to be impotent
A member of the erectile dysfunctionals
What used to be your rod of iron
Is now a jelly truncheon
What used to be Thor’s mallet of meat
Is now the vegetarian option – mashed
What used to be my pork samurai sword
Is now like a floppy tuna sushi roll
What used to be my tummy banana
Is now just like low hanging fruit
It matters if there’s no lead in your pencil
Your dick or cock is equally useless

It’s true; I was never hung like mules
But now I’m needing Snap on tools
Showing no shame, I even tried Viagra
Waste of time, my tackle fell like Niagara
I don’t even attempt sex anymore
Almost anyone is now a better lover
Any woman with a strap on
A pitbull terrier called rocky
Steven Hawkins after a power surge
Anyone who is currently in a coma
Anyone who is currently dead and buried
At least they would be stiff

Attempting to fuck now, would be like:
Pushing a marshmallow into a beer bottle
Thumbing bread dough into a milk carton
Pushing ground beef into a champagne flute
Forcing macaroni into a light socket
Like slapping steam or punching smoke
It has now become exercise in futility
For a man who wears flip-flops
Ironically I can’t flip my flop