In The End

Internally I'm already dead
But my hearts full of life, even though it's been bleed
Ain't that a bitch
Because the flesh of my emotions are now giving off a nasty stench
Just rotting inside my head
And now I'm only left with a few options in which to choose
Before I can even reach those pearly gates
Pouring out my guts
In hopes of catching an early glimpse
Looking for some sort of spiritual clue
But all I've been able to find, is nothing worth passing through
And after searching hard to find
My emptiness finally came into full view
I could have sworn
There was something more to me here
Now undisguised in plain sight
There's not a single trace of any kind
So my demons won't hesitate to steal away my time
Guess the beginning of my end should have been crystal clear
But now I'm questioning if this game of life wasn't rigged
Even if I wasn't playing fair
Trading for my comforts of life, with just plain ordinary air
No wonder it was always hard for me to breathe
At ever other breath I tried to cheat
So I'll leave my soul behind, to find it's own open door
For something more extraordinaire
If it escapes free
Because I don't wanna fight with this life anymore
I was never good at it honestly
I swear
Just wish I could have been more like the good book said
But I was always reckless with its love in my care
Being self-proclaimed as already being pronounced dead
So tell me
Do you think eternity goes on for forever
Because I think I can see the means to my mortal end
At the peak of atmospheric pressure
Tearing me from limb to limb
Stomping on my heart
Then watching as the blood comes gushing out
Stealing the words right out of my mouth
In torrid flames of a ritual sacrifice
Trying to silence me with scorching fright
But I'm only afraid
I will never scream out loud enough to cry
Or have anything of value to say
So go ahead an torture me while I'm still alive
And I'll prove once again, I'm more than a son of a bitch
The likes of which you've never seen
Because I refuse to go down like this
Not without a bruising fight
And if I was capable of producing tears
Perhaps I would have been granted a magical wish
For some supernatural insight
Because I never seen myself as deserving
Never turning water into wine
Or lead into gold
My days of scientific flirting were the only things that were hurting
The hands of death letting go
And my chances of slowly growing old
Now I'm two steps away from an early grave
And there's no turning back from which I came
I can't be saved .. from me
I'm much to hardheaded to ever be tamed
I'm a lone wolf
No one to answer too, and nothing compelling for me to prove
So let me fade to black and be gone
Not that I'll rest in peace, but I'd like to ask God
That one day he'll unearth my intrinsic plot
Remove my mask, reveal to me the past
So I'll know right where I went wrong
And how I ran empty on luck
That's all I'm going to ask
To believe .. I wasn't already born compromised.
Because I think temptation has always had my balls in it's vice
From the very first moment they dropped
Honestly, I'm not even surprised
But God please tell me, if I'm wrong
I swear I won't make a peep
I'll just crawl back underneath the rock from which I came
And cry myself back to sleep
But I'll never really be the same
Knowing I put myself to death
For simply refusing to play along, in life's little game
And if it's so
I guess that makes me the one to blame
But honestly I know I deserve even less
For failing God and myself
Now I'm going to burn in hell with all the rest
This will be my fate
In the end