deepundergroundpoetry.com
Wonder
Mere stranger’s nod
a smile and hello
pedestrian crossing
car comes to a slow
Warm hugs of welcome
upon arrival
sweet smell of spring
tulips survival
Relationships built
by acknowledging respect
the melodic sound of language
a different dialect
Forever friends
where time has no place
modest souls
that offer grace
A place called home
resting when weary
all those that comfort
when eyes become teary
When silliness thrives
despite downpour
the music that lifts
and then an encore
Must not take for granted
such simple things that please
for with them spirits soar
with reflections such as these
a smile and hello
pedestrian crossing
car comes to a slow
Warm hugs of welcome
upon arrival
sweet smell of spring
tulips survival
Relationships built
by acknowledging respect
the melodic sound of language
a different dialect
Forever friends
where time has no place
modest souls
that offer grace
A place called home
resting when weary
all those that comfort
when eyes become teary
When silliness thrives
despite downpour
the music that lifts
and then an encore
Must not take for granted
such simple things that please
for with them spirits soar
with reflections such as these
Published 29th Mar 2017
| Edited 6th Oct 2023
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 1
comments 13
reads 824
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Mar 2017 9:26pm
I always love your work and this is no exception! Great and inspiring - I like the form.
Just one idea: I feel the 4th line may be a bit out of place...possibly replace with something like "speeding cars begin to slow" or "as cars break and start to slow" I don't know, maybe something else. Just a thought....:)
Mere stranger’s nod
A smile and hello
Pedestrian crossing
"As speeding car comes to slow"
Just one idea: I feel the 4th line may be a bit out of place...possibly replace with something like "speeding cars begin to slow" or "as cars break and start to slow" I don't know, maybe something else. Just a thought....:)
Mere stranger’s nod
A smile and hello
Pedestrian crossing
"As speeding car comes to slow"
30th Mar 2017 5:11am
Thank you Mike...I agree, I changed to "Car comes to a slow" As it seemed to fit the rhythm better. I appreciate your feedback and the read:)
Mel, I read this as a hope-filled antidote to your "My Suicide" piece. The compassionate imagery is beautiful. I will try and apply this wisdom on my journey home from work. Brava!
30th Mar 2017 5:13am
29th Mar 2017 11:49pm
That's the first thing I saw too, L4 S1...
As speeding car comes to slow
Perhaps you meant "A"? Or "cars"?
LOVE "tulip's survival" - reminds me of "Springtime in Ohio", which describes snow in a tulip.
Also, it begins as an observer and ends as a participant, i.e. - "we". The inclusion of yourself, such as "upon 'my'..." vs "an arrival" would make it more personal throughout? Unless there's something I'm missing or not comprehending, which is quite possible?
Aside from those two minute things, I enjoyed the essence of this connective piece very much. Gratitude is a dying art that once opened doors where there were none.
As speeding car comes to slow
Perhaps you meant "A"? Or "cars"?
LOVE "tulip's survival" - reminds me of "Springtime in Ohio", which describes snow in a tulip.
Also, it begins as an observer and ends as a participant, i.e. - "we". The inclusion of yourself, such as "upon 'my'..." vs "an arrival" would make it more personal throughout? Unless there's something I'm missing or not comprehending, which is quite possible?
Aside from those two minute things, I enjoyed the essence of this connective piece very much. Gratitude is a dying art that once opened doors where there were none.
30th Mar 2017 5:17am
30th Mar 2017 1:59am
love the very positive tones this has - it feels like a psalm strangely :-)
I really enjoyed this :-)
I really enjoyed this :-)
30th Mar 2017 5:18am
30th Mar 2017 3:37am
"Primary eye contact
Acknowledging respect
Melodic sound of language
A different dialect "
That's a Beautiful bit right there!!!
The L4 mentioned by the others up there...this felt as "You" The driver of the car coming to slow (mutual acknowledgement) of one another.
That was the movie that played in my head anyway...
Though this truly IS an upbeat poem-The emotion shows this, It felt very Observational to Your surroundings and those You come in contact with.
Beautiful delivery-Very sing-song-Cheerfulness to it!!!
Acknowledging respect
Melodic sound of language
A different dialect "
That's a Beautiful bit right there!!!
The L4 mentioned by the others up there...this felt as "You" The driver of the car coming to slow (mutual acknowledgement) of one another.
That was the movie that played in my head anyway...
Though this truly IS an upbeat poem-The emotion shows this, It felt very Observational to Your surroundings and those You come in contact with.
Beautiful delivery-Very sing-song-Cheerfulness to it!!!
30th Mar 2017 5:22am
Thank you very much...I am glad you felt the beauty in these simple interactions:) Lovely response appreciated.
Anonymous
30th Mar 2017 5:03am
Hey Mel...luvin this ink......you're so right....simple things from another soul can bring us to smile and feel happy......you're write made me smile.....gorgeous words.....purple luv & hugs xo :)
30th Mar 2017 5:27am
So happy it made you smile... I often write on the darker side but these small exchanges can bring such a simple pleasure. Much luv and hugs right back!
12th Apr 2017 8:02pm
like a moth to a flame
im drawn
to the feelings
that you explain
taken
directly from my heart
with wishful thinking
telling me
its such a shame
we are
so far apart
depending on age and status
lovely write
im drawn
to the feelings
that you explain
taken
directly from my heart
with wishful thinking
telling me
its such a shame
we are
so far apart
depending on age and status
lovely write
