Roar

12:49 am, and you feel it. A cold dry
Darkness slithers across the floor and
Slides up my back, permeating every
Hungry pore in my body. In my
Mouth, my tongue licks around,
Searching for an answer to an
Eternally asked question. It meets
With something that tastes metallic
And resistant. Earlier I walked into
A situation with my head held high,
Proud, arrogant, sure I was the one
To dominate. I crawled out on
Hands and knees, owned, a little child
Begging for clarity once more. The night has
Grown fangs, two razor sharp
Incisors sink into the soft tender
Skin of my neck. In the mirror
I am eight again, wild and wide eyed,
A dirty mattress, fearing my stepfather's
Key in the lock and the raw naked sight
Of a twelve pack in the fridge.
I have not learned
From my mistakes. And hunger,
Piercing and raw, sings a black
Brutal symphony throughout my
Aching limbs. I am starving, but
Not for sustenance. My soul has
Gone unfed for years. The night
Is hideously soft, stars twinkle softly as if
They hide, scared and scarred and alone,
Behind a lazy tongue of white gauze.
Every pair of eyes I look into are
Those of a stranger's, and with every
Step I fear coming upon my mother
At the kitchen sink, her hands writhing
In pain and her tiny voice moaning
And hiccupping on giant sobs of despair.
Tiny piranha pinpricks of remorse chew
And bite little holes all over the red
Ribboned cake surface of my heart,
Its dark silent craters left empty decades
Ago by a myriad traumas, a myriad
Sights that suddenly stole my breath
Away, left me wondering about wolves
And princesses and barefoot gods. I wonder
Where you are tonight,
I wonder what songs sing in your
Little porcelain doll heart, your eyes
That were somehow blue boats
On a foggy horizon, the waves
Blown tempestuous and hungry in a sea of
Murky black velvet. All your mermaids
Were dirty and filthy, their skin bloated
By dark stagnant water. Their hair in
Midnight wind like thin slashes of
Worn out tires. My hands
When I look down are unpolished silver, my
Fingers a line of rusted baby spoons.
I call to you tonight, I am woman.
Hear me roar.