deepundergroundpoetry.com
Your Silence
your silence has weight
leaves you heavy on my mind
whatever the reason..i don't question it
i just acknowledge and honor it's presence
watch how it hovers..
i can feel the texture of its essence
infectious it is...
your silence swells in the back of my throat
causing a burgeoning of words
burdening me..with more of your weight
i carry you throughout the day
cloaked by my subconscious self
selfishly wanting to
lay you down
in the soft meadow of my mind
open you up and introduce you to my esoteric man
****
my tongue bleeds for you like a martyr
willingly scarified by the constant biting of doubt
the constant fighting with myself
as your silence continuously casts its spell
spelling out the woman you are
through these misty blues
hues of you are magnified third eye wise
i..am ...magnetized
wanting to multiply us by dividing two into one
subtracting guilt while adding the seasoning
of forbidden pleasures
yes
i know..our mathematics is illogical
but your thunderous silence has become problematic
leaving me symptomatic
revealing shades of an addict
so take this edict as a profound confirmation
that you have moved me beyond the
scope of words
Published 23rd Mar 2017
| Edited 8th Mar 2019
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23rd Mar 2017 6:54pm
This read beautifully, Naajir, except for the sighhhhhhhaikfhyoseuhus. Would it not seem more apt, since this is about silence, that you would maybe space a bit more and let that emptiness speak for itself.
Just a thought honoring your request for honest critique.
Just a thought honoring your request for honest critique.
"let that emptiness speak for itself. " in keeping with this vibe you have a point. Ahavati. if you only knew how often i've felt the need to take the sigh out in so many of my poems,which i did end up doing ...here it would be justified ..thank you for the honest thoughts
