Him

You
S p i r a
  l
Out of control
as your mind
s c r e a m s

for relief

from the d e m o n s
deep within

He stares at me
my top is off,
I have hidden
in the guest room
(Where I sleep
the sound of
footsteps
are the only
evident thing )

And his eyes
"Marry me"

I said no
   His eyes said
Yes.

He saw my nipples
grow stiff in the cold
  his eyes glassed over
the night before he
came into my room
"Sweetheart, there's a
Electric blanket
I can bring it to you
it's next door"

His eyes are sad
Brown, like mine
Warm, but sad.

I want to touch him
I want his
Jawline under my
Tongue and I
Want to
Throw up at how
Indecent my thoughts are.
   The only man
Who has physically seen
  My nipples grow hard,
I caught his eye,
Continued to strip

He stared at a
Girl he
Couldn't have.

Because I was
Just shy of sixteen
but blossomed well

My tears line his white t-shirt
I
  hate
You.

But oh
How I want
to talk to you again
Properly.

I'm less shy now
My mind is sharper
than my tongue
  I think you'd like
Who I grew to be.
       I
         Think.