Slap     - - - for the Hypothetically speaking Comp

 
I wrote this ode to make you laugh
To make you chuckle, send you daft
To make you snort your coffee out
To make you pee and fall about
Forget about that old Slapstick
My new invention is called SlapDick
See a man demanding honey
Slap his dick it’s surely funny
Gets you out of your depression
Slapping cock as self expression

A man presents his dick to you
For you to lick, to suck or chew
Pre-warn him you have got the clap
Then give his dick a good hard slap

You want to crush him like a rock?
Pull your hand back, slap his cock

Become a small cock extremist
Fear not his wrath and slap his penis

If he pulls out his trouser snake
Slap it hard for slapping sake

He offers up his large manhood
Just say “No!” and slap it good

He holds out his Pocket rocket
Slap it silly, go on sock it

He will say it’s his love muscle
Slap it hard and do not tussle

His meat thermometer, check if hot
Ignore the length and slap the lot

If he shows you his pleasure pump
Turn your slap into a thump

He asks you blow on his pork flute
Just slap it hard and do not toot

No excuse, he needs a wee-wee
Slap that wee-wee out his pee-pee

No sad face, no furled brow
See; I know you’re laughing now