Last Call

It's different than I imagined    
It would be  
There is no rule book    
To the crumbling of walls    
And where to direct your eyes    
   
Pins and needles in my veins    
What once was my stomach    
An abyss currently claims    
Time    
hasn't    
stopped    
Minutes pass by with fluidity    
But I find myself  
-Mute
and    
Paused
   
With him    
I had something to compare myself to  
Something to point at  
And say,  
"That    
isn't    
me"  
With him  
Now
Gone
....GONE...  
I am only left  
With what I have become...  
   
I thought apathy would reign  
But instead    
I feel the rain...  
Misty eyes paralyze  
As I search for coming steps    
My feet    
-frozen    
My hands  
-grasp regret    
   
With Illusions of sanity    
Walls crumble    
before me    
And I    
am left    
-Something bare    
-Something confusing    
   
Perhaps    
This    
Is my Truth    
 I    
am    
not    
you    
The apple  
However far-fallen
Is capable    
Of Mourning  
The timbered tree  
 
Presumed hatred    
Filled my life  
But    
Upon your death    
I now realize  
My heart    
doesn't work the same....  
I dig up forgiveness    
As I call out your name    
....DAD...  
The    
Last    
Call    
Conjured from the remains    
   
I Hope you find peace    
   
R.I.P.