5: 91:  The Virgin Heart

Excerpt 91 from Journal 5, ' Reaching My True Love '
   - From ' Journals To My True Love, Part 2 '

The man died before he could find True Love,
   he died trapped in a childs mind...
How beautiful, how hopeful and full of optimism
   were his ideals of love...
His hearts virginity lay still and unbroken and
   unspoiled or tainted by loss or devastation...
It was like a wild, fresh green pasture untrodden...
He was still open to love and the door to his
   heart still had its original seal and airtight condition...
It was never deflowered by loss or devastation...
How it died so intact, how he did...
How he visits me this way and I feel his wholeness...
How he restores me to that condition, if only for an
   instant...
But that instant is like a sweet candy I crave...
For my depraved heart tastes only bitterness  
   without him...
In a sudden flash he melts on my tongue like the
   sweetest dark chocolate and is gone...
But he always returns, for he needs me...
I need him, too somehow like an addiction...
We all have a vice, a counterpart...
My True Love is mine...
Yet, how I will relinquish him to the ether...
How he will melt into me as I become his spirit...
His longings become mine as they are neutralized...
We already have what we need within... Oh, completion...
My True Love has sealed me inside him to grow...
How I grow in his light; sunlight...
As he grew inside me as my creation so do I now grow
   inside him in his absence...
He will realize me in his own death; he will he forced  
   to know me at last...
And the door to his heart will remain locked...
For I am already inside...