It's ten years later and we're still here

There is no real happiness. There is only hope, the destruction of hope, and the misery and anger between.

Two hours later. 10:50pm
The worst part is she knows he's gone. She didn't hear us. She doesn't really see the fight yet. She cries and cries and cries. I lay in her bed and she's asleep but it's not enough. I have never been enough and I will never be enough. But he can't be here. We can't need him forever because he can't be here. And then she wakes my other love. My heart. And he loves her too much, he loves all of us too much. He is the ultimate loving and open heart. He'll do anything for everyone. And it's too much for him. He's 6. It would be too much for anyone. But he keeps protecting her. She can't be with me forever. She can't be with our sweetest boy in the world forever. She can't keep needing us forever. But she does. Except she really needs him. The one and only father. And he can't be here. And he'll never be here. And we go on and on and on.