Bottle

No one ever says
You can’t find the goddamn answer
At the bottom of a bottle.

See,
I’ve always thought
I could.

I thought he
Was my goddamn life
And he still is, but

There are lines
And
Lines and lines
Of what shouldn’t be saaaaid

but angelprincess
ANGELPRINCESS
See how you
Shine without a halo
Remember how when
You first met he
Made you want to taste
The rain and you did.

On campus, it was pouring the fuck down
And
You
Stood out there
And tasted
Fucking raindrops and
You fell in love as the cold
Raped your insides.


      See spot run
See the princess fly
Away from the only
Thing that was good
For her because
Because her parents because because
She didn’t deserve to be fucking loved
As deeply, as fervently, as beautifully
As he loved her.
         & it will always tear you
apart that you won’t have
a son called Lance and he
won’t be into music the way
his daddy was because
some things don’t get passed down

I thought
He was
Everything

I know
He will never
Be replaced and
I will always settle for less
But now I am free to
1/. Go out with my family
2/. Take necessary meds
3/. Fuck whoever I want
4/. Speak to men and
adore ‘him’ from a distance.

It makes me sick how
His views match mine
&
It makes me sick how
We will never be
He was the embodiment of peace
I am the embodiment of destruction.