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My Wish

To be one with it
not controlled by it
to be combined with me
not at war with me
this is my wish
 
across the struggles
in the bathroom stalls
alone with my disorder
in the dark of the night
seeking the release of peace
 
apart from the world
drowning in the crowd
with all eyes probing
I’ll pray not be seen
please look at me
 
I wonder where it ends
searching for my beginning
when both are the same
with the balm of love
this is my wish.
 
© 2017, Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20170225.  
 
The poem “My Wish” was inspired by the National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.  My heart goes out to friends who have struggled or do struggle with eating disorders.  While I don’t have overt signs of one of the many eating disorders, I share the symptomologies of self-esteem relating to body image (dysphoria) and feeling out of control while in the grip of my ideations.  IMO the latter, overwhelming ideation, is the most crippling aspect many disorders.
Written by poetryaccident (Poetry Accident)
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