deepundergroundpoetry.com
Tequila and you
Top shelf was the quality I was used to
The savoring taste of a smooth, golden hue
I settled for the worm in the silver label tequila
It spun like a music box ballerina
Round and round until it made my stomach churn
A contagious virus with a nasty burn
The same pleas from you, the same annoying tune
You gave me icy December's when I wanted June
You'll never rise to that higher, gold standard shelf
You're a cheap proxy
of an authentic self
The savoring taste of a smooth, golden hue
I settled for the worm in the silver label tequila
It spun like a music box ballerina
Round and round until it made my stomach churn
A contagious virus with a nasty burn
The same pleas from you, the same annoying tune
You gave me icy December's when I wanted June
You'll never rise to that higher, gold standard shelf
You're a cheap proxy
of an authentic self
Published 25th Feb 2017
| Edited 13th Dec 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 0
comments 12
reads 732
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Feb 2017 11:56am
This is an interesting use of metaphor, the idea of a cheaper lower quality whiskey expressed your feelings in an interesting way. A good poem! Welcome to DU. Xx
26th Feb 2017 5:38pm
27th Feb 2017 00:13am
Welcome to DU N! I remember these days of needing the warmth of the bottle....some how I feel it's not just the whiskey burning your soul here......a great ink......purple luv & hugs xo :)
27th Feb 2017 2:58pm
27th Feb 2017 1:33am
You gave me icy December when I wanted June....DEAD...Love it!!!! Keep it coming!!!!
27th Feb 2017 2:59pm
"...a cheap proxy of an authentic self." So much truth contained in these few words....representative of so many individuals--and sadly, intentional! A very appropriate conclusion to this piece!
Your cadence and rhyme scheme makes this more fully appreciated when read aloud! Don't know if you meant this to be a performance piece, but definitely could be considered one! ( and if i might just point out, one small typo--Y o u ' r e. Just a friendly heads-up, since you asked for honest critique) :)
Intriguing Ink--Indeed!
Extending a Warm Welcome to DU....and a special thank you for becoming a follower of mine--much appreciated!
Your cadence and rhyme scheme makes this more fully appreciated when read aloud! Don't know if you meant this to be a performance piece, but definitely could be considered one! ( and if i might just point out, one small typo--Y o u ' r e. Just a friendly heads-up, since you asked for honest critique) :)
Intriguing Ink--Indeed!
Extending a Warm Welcome to DU....and a special thank you for becoming a follower of mine--much appreciated!
27th Feb 2017 4:37pm
Thanks a bunch DarkEnchantress. I fixed the typo. Thanks for that too:) Unfortunately, it is a purposeful intent for some people. These are the ones that can't be trusted. I'm not sure what you meant by performance piece but I struggle with flow sometimes. I'm glad it came out well. I'm honored to be following you. Thanks again!
3rd Mar 2017 10:21pm
"It spun like a music box ballerina."
I enjoyed your creativity in this piece and this was my favourite line. Welcome to DUP Noncommital1!
I enjoyed your creativity in this piece and this was my favourite line. Welcome to DUP Noncommital1!
24th Mar 2017 10:23pm
9th Apr 2017 5:46pm
Dam ..This was a very a cold but likely deserving knock on whomever this was about,! Excellent :)
