deepundergroundpoetry.com
Devil in me
I can’t escape this feeling
i can't escape this feeling
My heart don’t lie
Soul just wanna fly
Reckless beating inside me
Breaking it free
I can’t escape this feeling
I can'tescape this feeling
On the Left Hand Path now
Darkside’s gonna show me how
All around is so nice and sweet
And there must be someone I’ll meet
I can’t escape this feeling
I can't escape this feeling
Published 23rd Feb 2017
| Edited 14th Mar 2017
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The author encourages honest critique.
12th Mar 2017 2:48pm
I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for sharing. A few minor suggestions since you asked but take them or leave them:)
Maybe remove "and" & "My" in 2nd line as it may allow for smoother flow. Give it a read and see what you think.
My heart don’t lie
Soul just wanna fly
Reckless beating, inside me
Breaking it free
I can'tescape this feeling - add space:)
I think you can remove "I'm" in the 1st line, "My" in the 2nd line, "is" in the 3rd and "And" in the 4th line then maybe use "Dark side" instead of Darkside's...give it a read.
On the Left Hand Path now
Dark side gonna show me how
All around, so nice and sweet
There must be someone I’ll meet
Best wishes and happy writing:)
Maybe remove "and" & "My" in 2nd line as it may allow for smoother flow. Give it a read and see what you think.
My heart don’t lie
Soul just wanna fly
Reckless beating, inside me
Breaking it free
I can'tescape this feeling - add space:)
I think you can remove "I'm" in the 1st line, "My" in the 2nd line, "is" in the 3rd and "And" in the 4th line then maybe use "Dark side" instead of Darkside's...give it a read.
On the Left Hand Path now
Dark side gonna show me how
All around, so nice and sweet
There must be someone I’ll meet
Best wishes and happy writing:)
14th Mar 2017 1:28pm
