Blue Lapiz

I swallowed all the bitter, chalky acidic pills; feeling them melting as they burned my throat
You can't hurt me if I get me first
I just wanted quiet-couldn't think, black hole that was sucking me in getting bigger
Each swing of his fist
Each time he screamed "Nigger"
Deepest, darkest midnight coal black-I floated high above my ethereal body
Watching them smash my chest-begging me to come back
I wasn't here
Nor was I there
In a room filled with books as far as my eyes could see I found myself wandering
I ran my hands along the shelves, touching the books tenderly, caressing the spines
What did my eye next spy?
A book that was the same blue Lapiz color-like the choker that he broke
Because my mother gave it to me; it gave me a little bit of strength and it was something he hated me to wear
This beautiful book was mine!
How did I know you ask?
In gold, embossed letters my name was written down it's spine
Gingerly I lifted it from it's place on the shelf
Sat down on the ground-preparing to read it to myself
I only got to crack it-just a peek
When it was snatched from my hands and I was jerked to my feet
A beautiful woman with flaming red hair was staring at me with a penetrating stare
"It is not your time and you cannot stay", she said to me never moving her lips, her voice chimed in my head quite melodically
I cried and I shouted and begged for my way
But with a stern, steely look she shoved me away
And back to my corpus self I returned-to my dismay
I felt so unloved, unwanted, ashamed
Then it hit me like a bolt straight from Zesus' hand
I was leaving  behind two innocent souls-they would've gone to him-to unholy terrors and evils unknown
So from that moment to this I made a vow: no more selfish acts
I can't leave until my true purpose for here is found