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deepundergroundpoetry.com
Used Condom
I'm just a shallow puddle
you pissed in once
you took no notice
of who I truly am
you shot your load in me
then I was disposed of
like a used condom
& I let you use me
like a urinal
for all your self hatred
cocaine eyes the size of moons
still you saw nothing
felt nothing
you came at me with your cock
I took it all
fell for you hard
told you all my secrets
you came in
made yourself comfy
on my low self esteem
then on to the next one
Copyright © 2017 Crimsin. All Rights Reserved
Published 7th Feb 2017
| Edited 15th Mar 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 17
reading list entries 2
comments 34
reads 1405
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
7th Feb 2017 1:56pm
ain't that the truth
7th Feb 2017 6:16pm
aye Missy thank you for the read and add it's deeply appreciated.. love Brenda
7th Feb 2017 1:58pm
This is the foul air that smells so good because your pen rocks us !!!!
Used Like
X
Used Like
X
7th Feb 2017 6:17pm
Fantastic analogy, Brenda. As painful as it was to be used and discarded in such a way, the beautiful part is that you survived.
Look at you now, shining beautifully. And all the wiser for it.
Look at you now, shining beautifully. And all the wiser for it.
7th Feb 2017 6:18pm
thank you Sage One for the wonderful comment and insight on this write.. love Brenda
7th Feb 2017 3:07pm
poem for an elegant sadness, Crim;
take a hard fall & end up in the gutter -
it's a different view from there...
take a hard fall & end up in the gutter -
it's a different view from there...
7th Feb 2017 6:18pm
7th Feb 2017 3:53pm
7th Feb 2017 6:19pm
Anonymous
7th Feb 2017 3:56pm
O..Crim, this is felt so deeply.
The pain, hurt and betrayal.
There is nothing to hurt the heart, quite like this can.
I'm so very sorry, dear one.
((Hugs)) to you.
The pain, hurt and betrayal.
There is nothing to hurt the heart, quite like this can.
I'm so very sorry, dear one.
((Hugs)) to you.
7th Feb 2017 6:20pm
thank you lovely Rooted One though is a past hurt that was stirred in my mind so I wrote about it.. I appreciate the hugs dear one.. love Crim
7th Feb 2017 8:13pm
The metaphor/analogy is spot on. I hate to say it, but it is so the truth. Some people just use you. And we make out to the other side of it all.
7th Feb 2017 10:00pm
thank you most kindly Eswaller yeah it's just the way of the world I think.. love Crim
7th Feb 2017 8:15pm
7th Feb 2017 10:00pm
7th Feb 2017 8:27pm
I wish I couldn't relate to this one but...perfectly expressed, beautiful lady. Much love...
Willow
Willow
7th Feb 2017 10:06pm
I wish you couldn't relate either beautiful Willow hugs on that.. thank you dear one for the read and add.. love Brenda
Anonymous
8th Feb 2017 12:41pm
My Beautiful Brenda, I almost feel every woman will unfortunately feel an understanding to this ink at some point in their life...and in fairness, there are women out there who will inflict the same pain upon many decent men...very sad but then again, the truth can hurt. Your write hits with power lovely one, as they all do...
I love you
xoxo Taryn
I love you
xoxo Taryn
8th Feb 2017 6:18pm
thank you my love for understanding this write.. you are correct in saying that women do it too.. I love you so much :) xo Brenda
8th Feb 2017 9:25pm
Raw but brilliant. Some men like to "conquer" women then move on, another notch in their belt. It's sadistic sport for these predators and any concept of love is beyond them. I hope your self-esteem is higher these days Crim. It should be with writes like these.
11th Feb 2017 5:50pm
thank you Sir Crow yeah it is a bit like sport for some.. as for my self esteem it still wavers.. love Crim
Anonymous
9th Feb 2017 4:57pm
Brenda.. honesty is so powerful.. and nobody i've ever read, shares that with their readers like you do.. you're the epitome of a warrior soul.. love..
Dave
Dave
11th Feb 2017 5:51pm
10th Feb 2017 5:01am
Used and tossed aside! Cruel reality. Boys pretending to be men. Great write Brenda!
11th Feb 2017 5:51pm
10th Feb 2017 8:02am
"made yourself comfy
on my low self esteem" > auch, that hurts!
This write is felt deeply, dear Crim, you are worth so much more than this!
Love, Duende
on my low self esteem" > auch, that hurts!
This write is felt deeply, dear Crim, you are worth so much more than this!
Love, Duende
11th Feb 2017 5:53pm
thank you lovely Duende I liked those lines too.. I'm happy you felt it's impact.. love Crim
Anonymous
10th Feb 2017 12:50pm
well fuck me bloody o.O
no punches pulled here, beautiful one
it hurts
& is felt vein deep
xo
no punches pulled here, beautiful one
it hurts
& is felt vein deep
xo
11th Feb 2017 5:53pm
thank you beautiful one for understanding and feeling this write.. love Brenda
11th Feb 2017 10:26am
The metaphor use is good here and I like your way with words such as "made yourself comfy on my low self esteem". You have gotten your emotions across in this poem very accurately in a concise way. X
11th Feb 2017 5:55pm
thank you graciously Steff for such a great critique welcome to DU.. love Crim
11th Feb 2017 7:50pm
fantastically raw imagery, brutal looks - first two lines sunk me like a rabbit punch and I was totally hooked to the end - excellent and an easy add :-)
11th Feb 2017 7:54pm
