Our Push and Pull

I never know whether I want to completely give
Up or to keep trying harder to make
This work. I am not sure if I could live

Every day without you here. You take
My heart, love and kindness as your own.
I hope that you are not making this all fake

Just to please me. I hate that I feel alone
Without you and what makes this so genuine.
You could have chosen to have everything blown

To pieces, but you decided to have the thicker spine
And the audacity to put up with me. You could
Have left all the clouds and taken the sunshine

Away, but you were the one who always stood
Right there even in moments when I tried to
Not need you. You were stronger than the wood

In the forests I got so lost in. When I pushed you
Away, we always came back and a part of me
Still does not understand that. I threw

You off the edge and yet you came to be
Someone who saved me no matter how many
Times I hurt you before. Instead of feeling free

I feel burdened and weighed down by the heavy
Feelings I have. I used to believe in this one
Hundred percent, but now I have plenty

Of uncertainty. You better come with the gun
Blazing and have the ability to pull me in closer.
I do not have the capacity to say if I am finally done

With you because you still run me over like a bulldozer.
I am not so worried about protecting you, but
Never being able to get the full closure

That I needed. I am afraid that this cut
Would not be able to entirely heal this time. On
This road there is every bump, bend, and rut,

But I have to believe that there is a new dawn.
Every day there are new chances and
Opportunities. Nothing is ever quite gone.

Sometimes time runs away from us like quicksand.
Whatever comes out of this I will always
Try to reach out that helping hand

When we always manage to navigate the maze
Together like in the forest. You pull me alongside
You just like you consistently find ways

To surprise me. All of my words have dried
Up and everything is together; jumbled and tied.