Psychotic Love

How do I tell you?
Explain to you?  
Show you?  
Without hurting you..  
  
How do I tell you what kills me the most..  
How do I explain how much I want to feel your blood?..  
How I want everything  
How I don't know how to control this desire  
   
You're sleeping  
And my right hand is in your hair, while a knife is the other  
   
I trace your light caramel skin  
The tip of the knife shining in the moonlight  
How I want to break the surface of your flesh  
How I want to see your blood dripping into my palm  
   
Would you still love me if I told you this?  
Would you accept me if I told you how many nights I've imagined..how warm..your blood would be?..  
   
Would you be able to look at me if I told you how many nights I turned the knife on myself..  
For wanting to hurt something so beautiful..  
For wanting to break you..  
Wanting to see the fear in your eyes..  
Right after I fixed you?..  
   
How would I explain me wanting to see you vulnerable for once..  
This feeling I have..  
Where I want to know how it feels to control something so wild  
Something devoid of any mistakes..  
   
I promised you I'd never hurt you..  
So everytime I see you, I pressed the knife against my arm  
And I feel the blood trickle down  
Pretending it is yours