deepundergroundpoetry.com
Importance of the Moon
My poison is rolled white paper pollution
I preform self surgeries using bandaid solutions
most days I feel useless like the lifeless youth
that left home a second too late or a moment too soon
I wish I knew the importance of the moon
would I question my every move
or move on
life is the balloon my parents put in my hands to hold on
I grew and I flew into new horrizons
I blew smoke and I choked on the fumes that rised
where do balloons go when they die?
I went shopping for a coffin but they didn't have my size
I realized I was in the kids section and I cried
who am I?
I preform self surgeries using bandaid solutions
most days I feel useless like the lifeless youth
that left home a second too late or a moment too soon
I wish I knew the importance of the moon
would I question my every move
or move on
life is the balloon my parents put in my hands to hold on
I grew and I flew into new horrizons
I blew smoke and I choked on the fumes that rised
where do balloons go when they die?
I went shopping for a coffin but they didn't have my size
I realized I was in the kids section and I cried
who am I?
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Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
2nd Feb 2017 9:38am
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Re: Re. Importance of the Moon
2nd Feb 2017 8:56pm
Thank you, I think it can be interpreted alot of different ways. Maybe one day, I will know the importance of the moon(:
Re. Importance of the Moon
3rd Feb 2017 2:51am
I so like poems that question and this one so poetically does - your layout and line lengths are all over the place but I like that. For me poetry has to create an emotional response from the reader. This certainly does :-)
excellent ink :-)
excellent ink :-)
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Re: Re. Importance of the Moon
3rd Feb 2017 3:04am
You have no idea how much I freaked out that you commented on my poems! Thank you so much for the feedback, I'm going to work more on my mechanics and different styles. I have alot of ideas, I want to learn how to sort them better. Thanks again, I'm glad you liked it(:
Re: Re. Importance of the Moon
4th Feb 2017 4:13am
Remember, poetry is personal - I've never been a fan of following the rules - if you write something and it feels and sounds right then it just is. I tend to write, then read out loud, then edit I hope that is helpful - anyway your doing just fine :-)
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Re: Re. Importance of the Moon
4th Feb 2017 5:39am
Thank you! I've always wanted to go to a poetry slam or a reading. I don't know if I would be good at it or not, I get pretty nervous lol. I do read my poems out loud to myself though, and you're right that really does help.
Re. Importance of the Moon
Anonymous
3rd Feb 2017 9:51am
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
Re: Re. Importance of the Moon
4th Feb 2017 2:19am
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I love a good metaphor that can mean different things to different people(:
Re. Importance of the Moon
28th Apr 2020 10:35am
"I went shopping for a coffin but they didn't have my size"
The poem is phenomenal yet that one line leaves me speechless. A classic example of the,"I wish I'd written that!" kind of thing.
I'm a huge fan of Type O Negative and Peter Steele, this one line is so much along what Peter would write and it reminded me of his work.
Very well done. :))
The poem is phenomenal yet that one line leaves me speechless. A classic example of the,"I wish I'd written that!" kind of thing.
I'm a huge fan of Type O Negative and Peter Steele, this one line is so much along what Peter would write and it reminded me of his work.
Very well done. :))
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Re: Re. Importance of the Moon
Alot of my better poems I wrote when I was 18-21 and honestly I didn't have to try back then. I would clear my mind and they would just come to me, kinda like channeling. I know I wrote them, but maybe he helped me out? Idk I'm a weirdo, thank you so much 😊❤️