Struggling to be myself,  
When they expect me to be something else.  
I donít want to change, find a new story to tell.  
I could love you if you would just let me be myself.  

Cannabis has killed my mind and my dreams;  
I smoked it so that I could see,  
But because I smoked it I have lost my every hope †
And any memory of any of my dreams.  

I find it hard to comprehend, all the stupid things I have ever said.  
I try to cover up the dirt stains I have left, but they can still be seen.  
Still they expect me to get up and out of bed;  
Why should I try, when trying never did anything for me?  

Old memories still linger in my eyes;  
I can see them now, I can see that life.  
I can see it all just floating away in a puff of smoke;  
Ah the good old days sure were good, but I had to let them go.  

I still have the same indifference, but something shifted.  
Reality drifted and I was falling, when I should have been lifted.  
Great expectations and hopes for a future,  
Left to go to pieces; apathy left me laying in a stupor.  

Now real life kicks in, the ash is tossed into the bin;  
Itís the same old me on a different day, †
But I donít know where to begin.  
I could tell you of now or of when I was a kid,  
But they never expected anything from me then,  
So why should I care about something that I never did?  

No expectations, just instructions;  
Self-destruction was my only way to function.  
Brain malfunction, funny to me now;  
I lost my way without direction,  
But in my future I want to take a bow.  

So I fall in line, I have done my time;  
I have followed their rules and still this home is not mine.  
Everybody expects me to try my best,  
But I expect nothing more, than the least I have to give, my friends.  

(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Written by AaHarvey
Published | Edited 9th Apr 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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